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NCAA Basketball: MAC Conference Tournament-Ohio vs Akron Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

I’m gonna be real honest—this isn’t exactly how I saw the world year in sports ending. In a matter of a few days, the sports world went from “mildly inconvenienced” to “thunderdome”. Conference tournaments getting canceled and openers getting postponed at first seemed like a minor nuisance, but one that would be remedied in a week or two—now, as we survey the barren sports landscape and face the very real possibility of being homebound for the foreseeable future...that minor nuisance is looming rather large.

The reason for all this is clear—sports are a GREAT distraction. I’m sure most of us remember the amazing power of sports to unite us all in times of great strife, like the Subway Series after 9/11. But this is different. While no more scary than 9/11 to most, the remedy is not so clear. We can’t put on a brave face and go about our day-to-day operations so as “not to let the terrorists win”. That’s pretty much the opposite of what you should do (note: you should also NOT be hoarding toilet paper...seriously, people...think of the children), so now with sports cancelled for the time being (except UFC...hang in there, fellas), that distraction is gone and with it, the overwhelming allure of watching (gulp) other things on television...scary things like cable news (“hoard toilet paper” say experts...) or worse yet...The Bachelor. You know that old song by GREAT AMERICAN BAND Cinderella, “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”...well, let’s just say I’ve been listening to it on repeat while eating a can of Vienna sausages (all that was left at WinCo).

I wish I knew when this was all going to be over and I wish a lot of our college seniors knew it was all going to be over...because while this may be a bitter pill for many of us to swallow (like a Vienna sausage), it’s all the more bitter for collegian basketball players like our amazing women’s team, who worked insanely hard for a bit of euphoria and a lot of disappointment. Of course, sports aren’t the most important thing...they definitely take a back seat to family, health, and the general well-being of society. Hell, I don’t even mind so much that my IRAs and 401ks got pummeled this week like so much volleyball. Paper losses and sports losses aren’t gonna give you more time with your loved ones, so proper perspective is also important to keep at a strange time like this...but hope is also a great thing to cling to (Clorox wipes too!) and that’s where we can loop back to sports. In time, they’ll be back and we’ll all be back to times when we aren’t lining the pockets of the Charmin corporation and refreshing our Twitter timelines with a feeling of dread. Soon, we’ll be lining the pockets of sports GMs and refreshing our sports live feeds with a feeling of dread. We’re gonna get through this, everyone...be kind to one another, have patience with each other...and for God’s sake wash your hands (East side season ticket holders at Albertsons Stadium already know how to do this well—the troughs prepared us for this).