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Hater’s Guide to the 2020 Boise State Football Schedule

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Everybody else sucks

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: DEC 21 Las Vegas Bowl - Boise State v Washington Photo by: Marc Sanchez/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Well, 2020 remains insane, but for the moment it looks like we’re gonna get some Boise State football this fall. There’s been a schedule released and everything! While pretty much anything from civil unrest to global pandemics could change our plans at any moment, now seems as good a time as any to live in the moment.

In that spirit, here’s our 2020 Hater’s Guide to the Boise State football schedule. This year, we’re going away from the chicken sandwich parallels of last fall, and instead will be drawing a comparison to break-up songs, just in case. And we’re off:

Oct. 24 – vs Utah State

After Gary Andersen’s very-public whoopsie broke on Twitter yesterday, it seemed only fitting to remind Utah State that we can’t go for that (no can do). If players want to opt-out of this season, that’s their prerogative. Hell, we might opt-out of this game if we have to.

Oct. 31 – @ Air Force

Air Force has the jump on the restarted season, as the cadets insisted on playing out their obligations against Navy and Army. Despite supporting the military in general, OBNUG specifically dislikes the AFA, and it seems only fitting to see their hopes shot down in flames.

Nov. 7 – vs BYU

Ever since we stopped playing the Vandals, the worst away fan weekend in Boise is always when the milk drinkers from Provo descend upon our fair city to crow about 1984. While we all want revenge for that fiasco last season, nobody shed a tear about the initial cancellation of this year’s matchup with the nutpunchers. Now that they’ve elbowed their way back onto the schedule, a throwback jam from Jojo accurately conveys our feelings, win, lose, or cancel.

Nov. 14 – vs Colorado State

Colorado State has had a tumultuous offseason, to say the least, and that’s just the football program. Anybody who thought that Steve Addazio was a slam-dunk hire was probably drinking too much of the Kool-Aid to begin with, but here at OBNUG we all knew he’d be trouble when he walked in.

(Yes, we went to the Taylor Swift catalog. Deal with it.)

Nov. 21 – @ Hawaii

Our years-long flirtation with Coach Rolovich and Hawaii fandom came to a quick end last season, as ol’ Nick split for the Palouse after dropping two games in Boise. Luckily for the Warriors, Todd Graham was looking for his next Dream Job™. At first we smiled at the awkward hire, but now we just feel bad for the long-suffering Hawaii fans. Lily Allen knows that internal conflict, too.

Nov. 28 – vs San Jose State

A small part of us rooted for the perpetual underdoggery of San Jose State last season. Josh Love somehow managed to simultaneously under- and over-achieve, and still ended up the best QB named Love in the MWC, then going undrafted despite that. Unfortunately for the Spartans, we’re just not seeing the firepower this season. On the plus side, they can’t go 5-7 in 8 games. Just not man enough for the big boys in the conference.

Dec. 5 – at UNLV

I think UNLV got a new coach, but honestly I don’t know who’s even playing there anymore. Asking around the OBNUG office all I got was “like Reno, but worse”, and something about a brawl to end last season. Whatever.

Dec. 12 – at Wyoming

Playing at Wyoming in December to close out a short season is enough to make anybody a little bitter, but stealing former Bronco beat writer Michael Katz was a bridge too far by the Pokes. We’re nothing if not a little petty, so here’s to a Bronco win, and Katz getting a better job somewhere with trees and an In-N-Out.

And that’s that. Please, wear a mask, stay safe, and let’s hope for the best for the football season. In the meantime, we’re temporarily Denver Broncos/Dallas Cowboys fans, because we must RYP IT GOOD, and Cedrick Wilson is THE MAN.