clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

OBNUG Presents: The Legend of Hurricane Hank

New, 9 comments

Bye week is for ballads

Gather round the fire, y’all, I’ve got a tale to tell

A tale of common bravery, and of inner strength as well

I’m here to spin the yarn of a gunslinger named Hank

Who moseyed down to Florida and tamed a hurricane

...

On the final day of August, Hank and his gang did ride

Right out into the glaring sun of the Doak Campbell abide

They faced down Chief Osceola and his flaming spear

When he charged at them on Renegade, not one of ‘em showed fear

...

The blazing sun bore down on them as they struggled with their foe

But the secret of hydration was something they did already know

As the Florida boys dropped one by one, Hank and his side stood strong

He was a tall drink of water, ready to play as hard as the day was long

...

In desperation the Seminoles flung at him their strongest men

He took some hits and weathered them, then took some hits again

Throughout this mighty battering, Hurricane Hank kept standing tall

He knew his boys could handle worse, and his side was not to fall

...

After what felt like hours, the battlefield was cleared

Hurricane Hank’s gang of Bronco Boys was now to be feared

They traveled back to Boise as victors in the end

With little time to lick their wounds as a Herd was coming in

...

The Marshall Herd was no tame beast, they traveled far to fight

Hearing tales of Hank’s success stirred their their boys up a mite

Hurricane Hank did what he could, but this Herd was here to rumble

Hank’s defense took up the call, and had his back through fumbles

...

Their best attempt had come up short, and Marshall was defeated

Boise’s defense had held the line even when Hurricane Hank had been decleated

The Thundering Herd reduced to merely whimpers by boys dressed all in blue

Throughout the mighty pounding fight, Hank’s legend just grew and grew

...

With Marshall duly defeated, Boise braced for Hank’s next test

A horde of marauding Vikings came into town to take a shot, their best

But it was all for naught as in the end Hurricane Hank remained unbeaten

As the Vikings retreated from the foray, Boise continued with their season

...

An undefeated foe flew in to take their shot at Hank

The Flyboys out of Colorado thought some Broncos they could spank

A triple option offense that was the stuff of dark nightmares

The Air Force Falcons did not catch Hank’s boys all unawares

...

A might struggle to a draw when the halftime bell was rung

It looked bleak for Hurricane Hank, but no fat ladies had yet sung

When the second half got under way, the Boise gang imposed their will

Taking a lead into the 4th, and at the end they held it still

...

Hurricane Hank and his stalwart gang had finally earned a rest

After a week of recovery, they would be off to their next test

Facing off with Dirty Sanchez and his uncouth Rebel horde

Down in sinful Vegas town, a place long shunned by the LORD