This old reporter has never been much of a so-called “femininist”, but I did support the suffrage movement even though they put Harding into the White House and subsequently his glad-handing of the HUNGARIANS. Later on, I foolishly challenged Wilma Rudolph to a footrace when I was the beat reporter for the Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle. She won that race by 22 seconds and it was only a hundred meters dash. Still, I’d like to think that fateful decision by yours truly (even though it would have been closer if I hadn’t been riddled with gout) ultimately went a long ways in proving that women were faster than most octagenarian beat reporters—and I’m proud of that legacy.
Closer to home, the Boise State Broncos foot-ball squadron had a fair-to-middling campaign...capped by an “overtime” loss to the Fresno Falcons in a title game tilt and a 7-0 LOSS to the Boston Boys in the Disastrous Bowl. All the joy in Mudville ‘round the holidays was primarily derived from the foot-ball team’s recruitment successes, because Leon Rice’s cagers offered no other pomp on the hardwood. In truth, it was enough to frustrate the blue and orange clad, but then I remembered that the a host of women’s teams were competing at this VERY MINUTE. Surely, it couldn’t hurt to touch on the exploits of the fairer sex, I thought. I WAS WRONG.
You see, in Boise, Idaho the fairer sex has been UNfairly hoarding all the success in this town and it shows no signs of stopping. The women’s basketball team has already hit 20 wins and have been rather inhospitable to their guests at Talk O’Bell Arena. Then the women’s track and field team is ranked in the top ten, the softball team is chock full of lady Wagners, Merkles, and—dare-I-say Cleveland Alexanders, and the gymnastics team is nigh unbeatable at the Turnverein Hall or wherever it is they ply their trade. Then our editor reminded me that the swimming and diving team is going for their 3rd straight championship trophy and the soccer team won their own title in the Fall. This has all the trademarks of a trend.
You see, in Boise, Idaho the fairer sex has been UNfairly hoarding all the success in this town and it shows no signs of stopping.
So what is to be done about these Bronco Amazons garnering all the wins and trophies? Surely, they are siphoning the finite number of wins in the sporting universe away from our lads (like I used to siphon “fuel” for my Stanley Steamer from Farmer Buckley’s horse troughs). Or so I thought. But as someone once penned (probably me), “a little child shall lead them” and I received a communiqué from my great-great granddaughter Jennifer who chided me to “get with the times”. Being a reasonable man, I obliged. What I discovered was illuminating like a Edison bulb. The Bronco ladies are not to be scorned, but celebrated! Not to be harumphed but hurrahed. Boise State honor and glory is being won not in the trenches but on the pitches and in the pools, on hardwoods, mats, and diamonds. These gals are in actual fact the bees knees and frankly, there’s still time to cast your eyes upon their exploits before it’s too late.
So call me a “femininist” if you must, but I tip my cap to the grit and determination of our lady Broncos. They’ve turned the tide and now wield the real power on this campus...and I for one welcome our women overlords.
This article was brought to you by Dandy Shandy, “real nettle flavor, real nettle relief”