OBNUG’S TOTALLY UNBIASED ALMOST-PRE-CONFERENCE-SEASON MEN’S BASKETBALL POWER RANKINGS

Well, we’re told bowl season is mostly over, and thus our coverage focus needs to shift to basketball. Unfortunately, this looks like it might be a rough season for the boys. Have no fear, our blatantly homeristic takes will try to help improve your outlook on the season through potentially weekly power rankings!

Any claims of bias are totally baseless and are probably butthurt Reno fans. Nobody likes you jerks, and we all know you’re cheating.

1 – NEVADA WOLF PACK

If our coach was clearly cheating his shirt off to obtain every high-level transfer available, our team would maintain an iron grip on the conference too.

2 – FRESNO STATE BULLDOGS

Fresno is 10-3 but they ain’t played nobody. At least we haven’t heard about it.

3 – NEW MEXICO LOBOS

This rank is primarily driven by Paul Weir’s impeccable sense of style. Cherry blazer!

4 – UNLV REBELS

Have you heard of Jerry Tarkanian? He was basically Musselman before Musselman. They even won a championship once, making them essentially the BYU of basketball.

5 – BOISE STATE BRONCOS

Leon Rice is still the coolest dude in the conference, not only because he knows how to keep his shirt on in the proper situations. RJ Williams is bringing the headband into 2019 and we’re undefeated so far this year. Suck it, Musselman.

6 – SAN DIEGO STATE AZTECS

Ugh. Aztecs.

7 – UTAH STATE AGGIES

Prepare to be underwhelmed by the Aggies. So it is written, so it shall be.

8 – AIR FORCE FALCONS

Maybe not the worst team in the conference from Colorado?

9 – COLORADO STATE RAMS

Pour out a Diet Coke and rip a phat vape in memory of our boy Eustachy. At least they still have that neon reproductive system in their arena, right?

10 – WYOMING COWBOYS

Larry Nance Jr. ain’t walking through that door. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

11 – SAN JOSE STATE SPARTANS

The optimist says the glass is half full, as they’ve actually won games this season. The realist wishes the glass had more beer. The pessimist says nothing, because nobody pays attention to the train wreck that is SJSU.