clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

You're no fools

They removed 'gullible' from the dictionary, or so we've heard

C'mon, I don't have to remind you what day it is. It's the day that sports blogs the world over try to pull a fast one on their readers with stories about 8-star recruits, changing their turf to an unnatural color (like green), or announcing that Idaho got kicked out of the Sun Belt conference. Oh, they did? Bad example. Anyway, April 1st is a day to be wary of any seemingly outlandish claims, including your aunt announcing she's pregnant again on Facebook. Enough, Janice—you're 73!

Without further ado, in the spirit of April Fool's Day but with the knowledge that the OBNUG readership is much too smart to fall for our gags, here's a list of prank stories we would have pulled, if you all weren't so darn smart. Let's do this:

Boise State the secret "final boss" of Vegas 16

In a surprising twist, Boise State will in fact participate in the basketball postseason as the elusive "final boss" of the Vegas 16 tournament. The fledgling tournament was thought to be targeting the Broncos after they failed to make the NCAA tournament, but after the CBI and NIT passed on Boise State, the Vegas 16 plan fell apart—barely scraping together half of their eponymous 16 team field. Well, the Broncos inclusion was merely a closely guarded secret by CBS Sports, the tournament sponsor, and the semifinal winner, Old Dominion, will face the Broncos in a shadow match, mirror match, and "lightning round" this weekend. Old Dominion's coach was pretty confident about his team's chances because they'd saved up, "like a ton of guys."

Another Moore in the mix?

After the graduation of Kirby Moore, Boise State fans thought they'd seen the last of the legendary Moore clan...but take heart, Bronco faithful—another Moore has entered the blue and orange picture and he looks to be a good one. Kippy Moore, a southpaw QB, was visiting The Blue over the weekend and the Broncos currently lead for the services of the underrated gunslinger. "I like everything about Boise State," said the unassuming signal caller, "and there's a Cafe Rio and Kendall Ford not far from the stadium." Moore is rated a 5-star QB by, but currently only has offers from Boise State, Idaho, and Eastern Washington.


MWC basketball refs to pull double duty

In a budget-cutting measure, the Mountain West Conference will have its basketball ref crews oversee key football contests this fall. The ref crew will be outfitted with state of the art stopwatches with which to determine whether players are in-bounds or not and how many downs each team will receive. Pass interferece penalties (now reviewable plays) will also be pored over by a crew of at least a dozen refs at a field-side scorers table.

Spicy new sponsor

The Boise State Pavilion, currently known as Taco Bell Arena, will be getting a tad spicier next winter as the Bell gives way to a new title sponsor—Sriracha. The spicy red condiment, known for its green cap and nondescript, rooster-laden label is more versatile than ketchup and will now adorn the largest basketball arena in the state. Huy Fong Foods, the manufacturer of the popular red sauce, has announced several exciting new concessions and in-game giveaways that they've planned for the 16-17 basketball season. Bronco fans will be able to purchase sriracha churros (probably exactly what they sound like) and if they get caught on "sriracha cam" will receive a one year supply of their ubiquitous offering (one bottle).

No more Nike

Boise State's long-running partnership with Nike will come to an end this season and the Broncos already have a new suitor. Nike has outfitted the Broncos exclusively since 1999 and have been with the Broncos during their rise to prominence and their rise up the Collegiate Licensing merchandise sales charts. However, the Broncos began looking for a new outfitter this offseason as Nike became oversaturated in the collegiate market. Zubaz, the popular athletic pant manufacturer and fanny pack specialists have a bid to win the Broncos prized account and will likely win the bid if they can survive a late charge from British Knights. "Nothing says 'Broncos' like blue and orange leopard print," said athletic director Curt Apsey.

'Quintuple Option' here to stay

Boise State hasn't fared well against the vaunted triple-option of Air Force and New Mexico the last two seasons, but thankfully they won't have to contend with it this fall. Bob Davie and Troy Calhoun have announced an "offensive partnership" and will be rolling out the "quintuple option" in tandem this September. The five-pronged attack will add a 3rd running back to the mix and possibly another quarterback or two "if we feel like it," Davie said. When sought for comment, Boise State's newly minted defensive coordinator Andy Avalos was quoted as saying, "@#$%".


Diagram of New Mexico's new "option right" play.