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Doug Martin joins the fat salary club; will remain in Tampa Bay

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Why is this man smiling? Find out below!

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

I know at least one OBNUG writer who was very enthusiastic about the prospect of Doug Martin heading to Oakland, as rumors swirled that he'd enter the free agent market, but it looks like he'll be staying a Buc and an employed (and well-paid) ex-Bronco is enough for me (Damien may be in mourning, but he'll come around too). Not to be outdone by former teammate George Iloka, who re-upped with Cincinnati this morning to the tune of a 5 year/$30M contract, Tampa Bay backed the truck up and left a 5 year/$35M contract on Martin's doorstep. Again, those still familiar with 4th grade math will note that this breaks down to $7M a year for the Muscle Hamster Dougernaut. With Dirk Koetter at the helm, all things are possible for former Broncos! I tried to give Iloka's contract the proper context earlier by using the popular "how many Lamborghini Venenos could he afford" metric and I'll attempt to do the same for Doug. With Martin's new contract, he can now afford to buy this paltry 1997 model 180' yacht from our friends at Yachtworld. Of course, the government's got to get theirs, so with taxes Martin may only be able to afford this garbage 161' yacht. The indignity!

Congrats, Doug.