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George Iloka just made a large sum of money

FINALLY making more than me

Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

Being a professional football player can be a dangerous job, but man...the benefits are pretty nice. Former Bronco safety George Iloka, a 5th round draft pick by the Bengals in 2012, has slowly moved himself into a very profitable position through solid defensive play (189 tackles, 5 INTs) over the last 3 seasons. You may remember that Cincinnati was a Vontaze Burfict mental collapse away from a Wild Card win against Pittsburgh just 2 months ago, so Iloka may have at least one reason to want to stay in the Queen City—the Bengals decided to give him 30 million more reasons, anyway.

I've consulted some of the top mathematical minds in the Treasure Valley, and am told that shakes out to $6M a year for the erstwhile Bronco, and while the contract may seem like a lot in its entirety, keep in mind that Iloka could only afford six Lamborghini Venenos with it. The struggle, as they say, is real.

Seven Venenos? Better luck next time, chump.