A Slam Poem by Russ Wood
Some say the best offense is a good defense, and perhaps the offense should take offense, but the defense won't need to defend any offense taken by the offense.
All that needs to be said can be said on the turf. "Don't score," methought I heard the men say.
And will glower at you like he ate your bay-bee.
Like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and Wilson, we have men who know de-fence.
Opposing offenses only go O-fer,
And as the quarter,
All they hope fer,
And talk about deep! Go ahead talk about it. I'll wait...
Too late, because this squad goes deeper than the Sarlacc, devouring your fett-less team over the next thousand years,
Fears and the tears of the "always next years."
Kamalei, come around when the quarterback's found,
And don't stop your driving 'til he's on the ground.
Moxey is fox-y,
Thompson will stomp-son,
Miles is all smiles,
Comin' straight outta Compton (or Texas).
Nance, do your dance,
Make the Rams poop their pants.
Vallejo, the pain-pro,
James limits their Chance.
Deayon is see-in,
Where the ball's bee-in,
Weaver the reaver, makes fools a believer.
Tyler, blow your Horn,
Tip your waitress.
I think this is the whole state of Utah breathing a sigh of relief. (At least until Utah State plays us.)
I didn't realize Colorado State had played Colorado this season already and lost. So if we connect the dots, Hawaii>Colorado>Colorado State...
Spoiler: They pick BSU to win by a score of 33-21. Didn't they read my Ode to the Defense before spotting CSU 21 points?
My friend Jason sent this to me yesterday, and it seems appropriate, given the Dumpster Fire dUI is these days. Try it out with your wedding video!