A MODERATOR sits in front of SCOTT and OWEN in a lecture hall, giving them a topic to debate.
Moderator: Scott Murrow, you will play the part of "Pac-12 Angryman,"
(Continued)... while Owen Ezekiel Muller takes the part of "Level-Headed Nuggie." Let the debate begin.
Scott: The real reason Boise State is not in a power 5 conference (PAC12 specifically) is that the television market is so very small...BSU is well respected, just number of TV sets and that horrible blue murf turf. Nobody can watch a game on TV without going crazy. (Mustangergt)
Owen: First off, I would like to know what a "murf" is? It certainly doesn't sound like any cartoon I regularly watched in the 80s, starring little blue people from which the blue turf derived its nickname.
Second, your claim that "nobody can watch a game on TV without going crazy" is fundamentally flawed. I am included in the null of your hypothesis, being part of "everybody," and have watched a number of games and yet retain my sanity. Perhaps this is just a reflection of your own state of mind? And to assume the field is such an eyesore simply because of its hue, would also be assuming the following share the same psychosis-causing traits:
Tennis courts, fields of blue flowers,
oh, and water, which only covers about 71% of the planet we all live on. But I don't recall seeing people walk around on beaches going:
And lastly, to address the crux of your argument, that the TV market is the only thing keeping Boise State from being included in the Pac-12, let me refer you to data taken a few years ago about TV markets. Let's look at how Boise State was doing (and is most likely to have improved upon since then):
Hmmmm, only ranked 57th in the TV markets, according to NY Times, with a paltry 483,000 fans. Surely, that can't compete with the lofty TV markets of the Almighty Pac-12!! Let's just have a look-see:
Oh, snap! Totally didn't figure a measly school from Tater-State Idaho would have a greater TV market than about half the schools in the Pac-12! (And I'm probably guessing 56th-ranked Colorado probably had a few fans fall off the bandwagon this year and jump on with Air Force, so there's that.) Arizona on down should be kicked out immediately because of their low numbers!
Scott: Sorry, the reason BSU your are not in the PAC-12 athletic conference is quite simple. The PAC-12 plays all sports at a high level, not just football. I very sure that the talent of the PAC-12 in football would grind BSU to nothing by the end of the season. The other sports would be like the PAC-12 playing a community college. I know where the "B" class athletes went to for college from my two kids' high school, it was Boise State. You are just inexperienced enough not to know the difference. Your supposition is simply ridiculous. (I-84)
Owen: "Supposition," huh? Wow! How long did you study the picture dictionary stashed in your pocket during my last oration? "I very sure" "your are" continually impressing me with your verbiage!
But to address the crux of your argument, let's start with the "other sports" which would be like Pac-12 schools playing a "community college." Did you know that BSU regularly plays Pac-12 schools in other sports? It has something to do with geographic vicinity, kinda like when you know you can ride your stolen bmx from the trailer park to Outlaw Vapes; it's close!
BSU 156 vs. Utah 143 -- yep, that's a win
BSU 178 vs. Oregon State 84 -- Isn't Oregon a coastal state with, like, water nearby?
Track and Field:
Boise State took 8th in last year's NCAA tournament. Now, unless you want to assume numbers 1-7 are all Pac-12 schools, it would seem BSU is competitive in this sport.
Made the NCAA national tournament in 2013, in one of basketball's toughest conferences. (See the Pac-12 on there, a few spots below the MWC?)
Waitaminit... they already are in the Pac-12? Well, they must be the whipping boy of the Pac-12, right? Oh, what's this?:
In 1988 BSU wrestling joined the Pac-10. (Coach) Randall has led the Broncos to the top of the Pac-12 Conference four times, to go along with seven top-25 finishes at the NCAA Championships including a 9th place finish at the 2010-11 NCAA Championships.
The Pac-12 might have some pretty good tennis teams, but that won't mean anything in a bar fight. #therealestsport
Not a sport. Disregard.
But I assume from your couch-coach physique that you're not really interested in these sports, you only really want to talk about football. I've heard the argument that if Boise State played in a real conference, they wouldn't be able to beat the Oregons, Oregon States and Arizonas when they meet. This just sounds to me like a weak hypothetical for team butt-hurt after getting soundly beat by us.You know what else would make it hard for BSU to beat [insert your Pac-12 team here]? If week after week, our players had to play on gravel. Or if our players had no legs. Ooh, ooh, what about if they played in the NFC West? THAT would humble them!!
Hypotheticals have no place in my world, just the games themselves. I'll let Lagarrette Blount speak for the Ducks' past performances:
Huh. Didn't like it, I guess.
Scott: BSU would get slaughtered in every sport in the Pac 12 - you'd go into a deep depression over the dominance and then you'd be begging your administration to put you back into the mountain west conference but you are stuck because you couldn't afford the buyout!!!! Just saying........ (OregonRob)
Owen: *Sigh*... weren't you listening? I guess that's to be expected when you engage in mob-mentality groupthink. You know what? I don't think we want to leave the Mountain West if it's to enter a conference with the likes of you. We'd rather just keep winning and getting a New Years' Bowl bid, while Oregon keeps shouting about how amazing they are until they visibly poop the bed on a national stage. Shouldn't your beef be with Ohio State, who embarrassed your Heisman winner with a 3rd string QB? (What's his name again? I know you know, but I sure don't.)
If any real changes should be made, it should be to include other conference champions in the playoffs. Then you might have a leg to stand on when arguing about the merits of BSU football.
...But I doubt it. Because we like to win, see.
Scott: I CAN GROW CHEST HAIR!!!
Owen: I'm glad for you. Now just grow a brain to go with it.
Scott: SERIOUSLY, I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU SO HARD, YOUR...YOUR FACE WILL FALL OFF!!!
Owen: I'm pretty sure that's not how that works, but you're welcome to practice on yourself.
Scott: I HATE BOISE STATE!! EAT FARTS!!!!!1!!1!!!!