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Ask Pit

Everyone's new favorite advice column is here at long last.

Jeff Pitman is the current Strength and Conditioning coach at Boise State University. His advice column "Ask Pit" is not yet syndicated.

Where did you get your work ethic from Pit? Jeff, Fruitland, ID

I grew up on a dairy farm in Melba, so I learned early on that the only way to get the maximum effort from those Holsteins was to make them run decks until they puked.

What is your favorite exercise/lift? Kim, Twin Falls, ID

It's fun to get creative with workouts, and you always want to keep your guys guessing. That's why my new favorite workout is to show up unannounced at their dorm room or apartment at 3:30 in the morning with a sack full of medicine balls. From there, we just see where the morning takes us.

Have you tried to lift while doing other things to maximize lift time? Jesse, Seattle, WA

Multi-tasking is part of sports—players are told to run full speed, shed blocks and process play on the field simultaneously. This is why I've attached 20 lb weights to my tooth brush, TV remote, cell phone and wallet. Also, small weights are attached to my eyelids before bed, to really blast those eye muscles during REM sleep.

Is there a bad time of day to exercise/lift? Daniel, San José, CA

Surely you've heard the old wives tale that you aren't supposed to swim for at least a half hour after eating? Well, I try to have my guys run decks at least a half hour after being force fed whey protein and rhinoceros vitamins…much less puke to clean up. Still, mishaps can happen, which is why I have our players run decks with a mop and a bucket of Lysol.

What is your favorite pre-lift food? Tim, Eugene, OR

1 cup chopped horse meat (lean)
3 tablespoons Whey Protein
1 Tbsp Fish Oil
1 Mr. Goodbar
1/2 cup Chicken Stock
1 can Red Bull
2 squirts of Sriracha

Blend. Serve Chilled.

Post lift? Madison, Rock Springs, WY

A handful of rocks (igneous)

What is your favorite movie? Brian, Dearborn, MI

I'm a bit of a softie, so I'm always partial to Death Wish.

What music to you listen to while you lift? Joe, Federal Way, WA

I don't. Music tends to drown out my inner monologue…which is just me shouting slogans at myself.

—Pit Viper

If you'd like to "Ask Pit" a question or solicit advice on life, love or lifting, submit your queries to

"Ask Pit" is satire and for the amusement of Bronco Nation. Hopefully, admitting as much should shield us from litigation and/or having to run decks.