Important dates on the Boise State football calendar

August 5 - Fall Camp begins

August 16 - The local media to report the first details of Fall Camp

August 17 - Fall scrimmage, open to the public

August 18 - Joe Southwick to get heckled in a Winco

August 29 - The college football season begins, GameDay to broadcast live from Jim Delany's money hamper

August 31 - Boise State @ Washington

September 1 - Washington to announce disciplinary actions for Austin Sefarian-Jenkins and Kasen Williams, sorry they couldn't get to this before the Boise State game, everyone

September 20 - Boise State @ Fresno State, Pat Hill Effigies for the first 5,000 fans

September 24 - WAC Retirement Party, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., the Denver Motel 6 lobby, last names A-M bring a side dish, last names N-Z bring a dessert. Please RSVP to wackykarl@netzero.com. No gifts. Just kidding, please bring gifts.

September 27 - New Bronco Stadium video board unveiling, special screening of Little Giants

October 1 - KTVB special: "Where Are They Now? Boise State Stars of Yesterday," an exclusive look at the lives of former Boise State players and coaches that David Augusto's been stalking. Plus, Mark Johnson on what ever happened to Doug Harper.

October 5 - The American Athletic Conference to announce the addition of five new schools you didn't realize had football teams.

October 6 - In the spirit of player safety, the NCAA to ban the following:

• all football hits involving any contact to the head (intentional or not)
• swearing (someone's mom might be watching)
• pass blocking (dangerous to the heart)
• tackles below the waist (people's private parts are down there)
• the spread offense (Nick Saban sent an email)

The appeal process is a staring contest with New Mexico mascot Lobo Louie.

October 12 - Boise State @ Utah State, Gary Andersen Lifetime Achievement Recognition Night

October 19 - Boise State vs. Nevada, Chris Ault Appreciation Night, all fans shorter than 5'3" receive a free Dr. Scholl's insert

October 23 - 30 for 30: The Bold and the Bunghole: a retrospective of Mark Schlereth's acting career

October 25 - Boise State @ BYU, free tacos if BYU scores more than six points

November 3 - The Mountain West digital network to announce exclusive streaming deal with the Wii U

November 14 - Happy 97th birthday, Lou Holtz

November 23 - Boise State @ San Diego State, all fans older than Rocky Long get a free Life Alert bracelet and golf cart assistance to their seat

November 28 - Thanksgiving

December 7 - Mountain West football championship game, site TBD but totally not Hawaii

December 14 - Heisman Trophy ceremony, sponsored by Nissan, built by the Home Depot, brought to you by AFLAC, made possible by Arby's

December 21 - Las Vegas Bowl, TBD vs. Boise State

January 6 - National Championship Game, TBD vs. Alabama