The NFL scouting combine begins today in earnest and fortunes will be made and lost in tenths-of-a-second intervals over a 40-yard span. The Broncos are sending a record 7 participants to Indianapolis to participate and some are expected to turn heads with their size, speed and strength. One is not. The one named 'Kellen Moore'.
We all know this and have known it for some time. Kellen is short for an elite quarterback, doesn't have a cannon arm, doesn't run particularly fast, and is something called "left handed"—but he's elite all the same. The scouts and the tagalongs will focus on the first four this week and utterly ignore that last bit. Get used to it and get ready for it.
After the jump, I've provided a helpful list of Kellen Moore knocks for haterz and quasi-analysts out there. Feel free to copy and paste for your one-dimensional Kellen Moore evaluations. OBNUGers...if you find a particularly awesome bit of KM hate please post in the comments. It's a one-stop repository for short-sighted (see what I did there?) Kellen Moore evals!
Synonyms for "short":
ex: "Kellen Moore is so exiguous, he needs a ladder to pick strawberries."
A few "Kellen Moore is so slow" jokes
Kellen Moore is so slow, the Chariots of Fire theme music plays when he walks.
Kellen Moore is so slow it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Kellen Moore is so slow his summer job is gathering moss.
Kellen Moore is so slow they'll be hand-timing his 40. Both hands.
Kellen Moore is so slow that zombies pass him on the street.
Kellen Moore is so slow, he came in third in a two-man race.
President James A. Garfield (terrible quarterback)
Napolean Bonaparte (terrible quarterback)
Helen Keller (decent quarterback)
Fidel Castro (communist)
List of things Kellen Moore's arm is weaker than
Goals for Kellen Moore for the week
- Build awesome gingerbread house.
- Get Ryan Lindley's autograph.
- Display weight room results by being able to complete 10-yard pass.
- Upgrade from "noodle armed" to "taffy armed".
- Really enjoy the experience of being close to so many talented people.
Current QB ranking
12th best, by CBS Sports, 4 spots below hero Ryan Lindley and 3 spots behind a guy from Chattanooga. (that high??)