The college football season begins in less than a week, and the Yahoo Answers community is chock full of questions, mostly on football, somewhat on capris and spiders. The OBNUG mailbag is happy to help Yahoo out by answering some questions and getting people straightened out before kickoff. The Internet owes us one, big time. The following are actual questions submitted by actual persons. Click a question to enlarge it. Submit your own question at Yahoo Answers. Go, fight, big, bad Blue!
Dear LA Boise Fan,
I am pumped for college football, exclamation points! If I were you, though, I'd be careful rewriting the Boise State fight song. The BSU athletic office gives people the chair for that kind of thing.
Dear Beth,
It really depends on the type of impression you want to give. If you want your pants choice to say, "Check me out, I'm approachable and one of the gals and we should totally go to the mall later," go with jeans. If you want to send the message, "What's up, lady friends, I'm confident enough to let my ankle tan hang out for all to see and that makes me a woman in charge of her own destiny," then go with capris. Or you could wear sweats. Your call.
Dear mister Lionfan,
I have listed several bowl possibilities in order of likeliness:
- Sugar Bowl
- National Championship Game bowl
- Orange Bowl
- Las Vegas Bowl
- Poinsettia Bowl
- New Mexico Bowl
And, in the event of the apocalypse ...
- Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Dear LuhLuh,
Well, it's either a harmless house spider, a poisonous hobo spider, or a radioactive spider that will grant superpowers, like the one that bit Spiderman. I suggest finding a younger brother or Level 3 friend to test things out for you by letting the spider bite them.
Dear Elle Anna Mcroberts,
So wait ... you use your hand for bait? That sounds like a terrible idea. Try Northern Idaho.
Dear Ben,
My top-five preseason Heisman frontrunners list most definitely does not include Denard Robinson at No. 2. That's some crazy stuff. Andrew Luck should be No. 1, Landry Jones can be on there somewhere, Trent Richardson is an okay choice, and thank goodness you had Kellen Moore. I'd add Oregon's LaMichael James to the list to make it an even five.
Dear Foghorn I'm back,
Uhhhhh ... Next question!
Dear Hamze Assaf,
The bad news: You have a lot to learn. The good news: The University of Idaho has just offered you a scholarship.
Dear Ovoo Ovoo,
Whenever I have a difficult decision to make, I like to write down a pros and cons list. Let's try it out.
Pros:
- Football is the greatest sport on the planet
Cons:
- You hate football
- You think football is boring
- You won't get home from practice until 5:30 p.m.
- You'll be too tired to focus on football once school starts
- You broke your thigh recently
- You stay up late at night worrying whether you will break your thigh again and worrying about waking up early
You should probably quit football.