ESPN analyst and human hot air bag Mark May has earned the dubious distinction of being both the reigning Public Enemy No. 1 for Bronco Nation and being the leading candidate to replace himself. There are no maximum terms for the reign of Boise State's PE's. Hate has no tenure, especially when you love USC so much and respect Boise State so little. Can Mark May pull the first repeat performance in Public Enemy history? Do Almond Joys have nuts and Mounds don't?
Enjoy a brief Mark May recap after the jump, and share your thoughts on the man, the pudge, the legend.
You are reading a thesis on why Mark May is a purple turkey and deserves to be Bronco Nation's new Public Enemy No. 1. More candidates to follow; voting occurs next week.
A brief recap of Mark May's past candidacy
- The case for Mark May as Public Enemy No. 1 in 2010
- The coronation of Mark May as Public Enemy No. 1 in 2010
- The Mark May wikipedia page that contains a tragic lack of the word "turdburger"
A brief history of Mark May
Markevious Eric Maybelline was born on an overrated November morning to a mother whose body of work, birthing-wise, was rather poor. No C-sections to speak of? No way this woman makes the Top 25 of Mark May's best pregnant women of all time (No. 1: Octomom, No. 2: Andy Dalton's mom.)
As fate and Hostess cakes would have it, Mark May became a stellar football player at the University of Pittsburgh and with the Washington Redskins. His career included an Outland Trophy, a Super Bowl championship, and a 4H ribbon that he mistakenly won while walking through a county fair without a shirt.
Mark May so loved to talk about football and have opinions that he moved on to broadcasting, soon catching on at ESPN alongside part-human, part-cartoon Lou Holtz. On the set of ESPN, May developed an acerbic wit and condescending tone to go along with moronic viewpoints and backward rhetoric. In short, he was the perfect commentator. Trev Alberts times a billion.
He etched his place in Bronco Nation's craw with his universal distaste for all things Boise State. He harshed on their Poinsettia Bowl chances against TCU, he belittled their undefeated 2009 season, he predicted a double-digit loss and pain aplenty when the Broncos played Virginia Tech. Naturally, Mark May was wrong about all this. And ESPN rewarded him with an extension.
May can currently be seen on College Football Scoreboard, College Football Final, and College Football Live, as well as his recurring role as a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
A brief history of Mark May in pictures
A brief haiku about Mark May
Hating the Broncos
is Mark May's full-time job. Are
you gonna eat that?
What do you think about Mark May's chances at earning back-to-back Public Enemy No. 1 nominations? Is May still the worst person you know? Any predictions for the depths of his dirtbaggery this season? Share your thoughts in the comments.