It takes a pretty big blowhard to out-schmuck Craig James, and that blowhard is Mark May. The ESPN poser and Lenscrafters VIP was the Public Enemy winner in a landslide, confirming his place as Boise State's biggest villain.
After the jump, get a taste of what's in store for Mr. May this season and discuss whether or not he's capable of living up to the lofty expectations of being the most hated person in Bronco Nation. I have a feeling that he is.
Congratulations, Mark May. You are the worst person on earth.
He is an encyclopedia of non-BCS hate. He is Stuart Scott with elephantitis. He is confrontational for the sake of being confrontational. He is everything that is wrong with how ESPN plans its college football coverage, and he hates the Broncos to boot.
May has been planting seeds of Bronco hostility for the past two seasons, smearing their good name in the Poinsettia Bowl, doubting their strength of schedule all 2009 long, and mancrushing on TCU in between his torrid affair with the USC Trojans and whoopie pies.
Q: If Texas stumbles, which undefeated team would have the best chance in a title game?
A: That would be TCU, who would be going against the SEC champion. They are a very balanced team. Look at the defense led by defensive end Jerry Hughes, who is phenomenal. They have a tremendous running game and Andy Dalton has been doing a magnificent job managing their offense at quarterback.
Er, never mind!
His preseason Top 5 for 2010 is as top-heavy with overratedness as you might expect. Why is Boise State not on there? Because the Broncos would not win the SEC if they played in that conference. Duh!
- Ohio State
- Virginia Tech
Mark May is the bane of Bronco fans and a plague on rational football conversation. He is deserving of Public Enemy No. 1 status, perhaps more so than anyone who has come before him.
Congratulations, Mark May. I hope you enjoy sitting on a figurative whoopie cushion of Boise State harrassment all year.
The winner by a wide majority
Voting for Public Enemy No. 1 seemed destined to be a nailbiter between logic-handicapped Craig James and May. Eh, not so much. Here are the final numbers:
- Mark May: 66 percent
- Craig James: 26 percent
- Gene Wojciechowski: 2 percent
- Robb Akey: 2 percent
- Colin Kaepernick: 1 percent
Poll percentages were apparently handled by a Vandal alum.
Don't go changing on us, Mark May
As has been mentioned many times during the Public Enemy No. 1 contest, a reverse jinx exists that makes Public Enemy winners turn into neutered non-factors. Dan Hawkins and Graham Watson were the first to come in like lions and go out like lambs. Will Mark May follow in their footsteps?
I doubt it. May is ESPN's resident non-BCS hater, and his loathing of the Broncos is legendary. For the past two years, he has hated on Boise State. And if videos like this are any indication, he has no plans of stopping.
A photo essay of great moments in Mark May broadcasting
Round, bespectacled, and ornery, Mark May is sure to be an easy target for Bronco fans to loathe all year long. Here are some photo highlights.
Actual size of Mark May's head before NutriSystem. (via friendsoftheprogram.files.wordpress.com)
Just finished watching the Fiesta Bowl with Gene Wojciechowski. (via img.photobucket.com)
Happy Karl Malone has moved on from making fun of his glasses to groping Lou Holtz. (via assets.sbnation.com)
The inspiration behind Steve Urkel. (via sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net)
Hooray for tweed. (via www.nypost.com)
The ballot is now open for next year's Public Enemy
While Mark May takes his victory tour through the gauntlet of OBNUG photoshops and screengrabs, next year's Public Enemy candidates will be laying their credentials at the feet of Bronco fans. As Boise State gains popularity and notoriety, the enemy list is only going to grow larger. Keep your eyes out this year for those deserving of taking Mark May's crown. Hate knows no season.