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Public Enemy No. 1: The great debate

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It is hard to go wrong with Boise State's Public Enemy No. 1 this year as there are so many candidates deserving of a year of despising. Which lowlife will it be?

Join me after the jump for a reader roundtable touching on each candidate and the pros and cons of voting them Public Enemy No. 1. Then weigh in with your vote in the poll and share your voting process in the comments. Winner is revealed tomorrow. Until then, let's debate.

Public Enemy is OBNUG's attempt at finding the most hated nemesis for Bronco Nation. Previously: Colin Kaepernick. Craig James. Mark May. Gene Wojciechowski. Robb Akey. Tomorrow: The winner revealed.

This year's Public Enemy No. 1 contest feels a lot like the NBA playoffs. It takes place in May, I'm dragging it on way too long, it involves a bunch of personalities I don't particularly like, and it is rigged to have the two most obvious participants still standing at the end. The only thing missing is a Craig Sager doppleganger.

S-craig-sager-clothing-large_medium

Where can Mark Johnson get one of those? (via images.huffingtonpost.com)

Craig James and Mark May are the L.A. Lakers and Cleveland Cavaliers of vanity and doofusness. And I fear there is no way that we can avoid their inevitable clash of meatheads for the Public Enemy title.

But by making this a two-nag race, I think we would be doing a disservice to the other despicable ne'er-do-wells on the Public Enemy candidate list. I mean, did you see the post-Humanitarian Bowl interview that Robb Akey did? It was as if someone told him the Shiloh Keo adoption paperwork had just come in. Did you read Gene Wojo's story after the Fiesta Bowl? It was a veritable Where the Red Fern Grows for non-BCS teams, except sadder and less interesting. And have you seen Colin Kaepernick lately? He is less of a passer and more of a media darling than ever. And can someone get him a muffin. The stiff breeze blowing through perma-empty Mackay Stadium is going to be the end of his Faberge legs one day.

Where to begin?

I am not a Gene Wojo fan, mostly because it would take giving birth to him to be a Gene Wojo fan, but I do have a harder time despising the ESPN blogporter than I do the rest of this Apple Dumpling gang of hosers. In fact, were it not for Wojo winning the people's vote as the fifth PE candidate, I doubt I would have given him much thought at all. It takes a special kind of blowhard to out blow Pat Hill, Bill Hancock, Troy Oppie, and Gregg Doyel.

Alas, I feel that Wojo already has received his comeuppance. What Mr. Fiskers has done, let no man undo.

Akey and Kaepernick are a different story. When was the last time we had a WAC rival as Public Enemy No. 1? The answer is never, mostly because this thing has only been going on for three years but also because our distaste for national media is insatiable.

I feel that overlooking Akey and Kaepernick would be a mistake - not a terribly egregious one because neither is very capable of making you pay unless you are UNLV or two-minute-drill Bowling Green. But still, a mistake. I guess the question for me is whether or not KaepernAkey's case against outweighs MayJames' case for.

Is Akey a terribly timely choice if he'll be coaching/guessing at Moscow for the next five years? Is Kaepernick worth the trouble since he never shows up when the Broncos are in town?

No doubt May and James don't have as much working against them (well except for common sense). React!


Drew's response:

What can I say, Kevan? When you're right, you're right. Mark May and Craig James are sirloins while Robb Akey, Gene Wojalk...Gene, and Colin Kaepernick are merely rump roast. I can't argue that the latter three belong in the discussion, but when I look at those names all I really see is Blowhard, Pot-stirrer, Twig. However, Mark May and Craig James help to form public opinion about the Broncos...and in an area where Boise State could use all the help it can get...they fail miserably.

If you'll excuse my rabid homerism for a moment...outside of perpetually downtrodden WAC teams, what is there to dislike about Boise State football? We have an innovative coach who's so squeaky clean, he makes choir boys look like the Cosa Nostra, and we have a rag-tag bunch of players that weren't "big enough" or "fast enough" to play for the traditional powers yet buy into, and flourish in, one of the best systems in college football. We also have a team that will routinely put up 50 or 60 points per contest. From my perspective, that's a team worth rooting for, but mssrs. May and James try their level best to stomp on the fingers of the Broncos as they ascend the ladder towards college football immortality. Sports punditry rooting against the Broncos—it ain't like rooting against Steinbrenner and the Yankees...it's like rooting against Norman Dale and Hickory High.

And now some reader wisdom...

***

Wojciechowski may not be number 1...

That article of his wasn’t a mistake as much as it was a look into his mind and see that he has a secret crush on Mark May.

by Belexes

***

Sorry, Gene Woj. You are not the weakest link, unless we are talking about football analysis, in which case you are tied with Pam Ward.

Now, before we move onto the main course of MayJames, I'd prefer we make absolutely certain that neither Colin Kaepernick nor Robb Akey are deserving of being mentioned alongside the two biggest losers.

Let's start with Akey. He is belligerent, overrated, and the face of the team that Bronco fans hate the most. Why wouldn't this guy be Boise State's Public Enemy No. 1?

***

Bravo

Akey is indeed deserving of enemy #1 had the Broncos not made the big time in recent years. However, with so much national exposure comes the responsibility of choosing a national enemy #1.

But Akey and his lip rug will always hold a special place in my toilet, right along side Dan Hawkins’ bowl cut and Kaepernick’s frog legs..

by BroncoFever

Actually... We owe "Akey-Brakey-Fart" ( I love that ) a Thanks...

Hear me out… We love to hate the Vandals. It is one of the joys in life, being a BSU fan and Alum. However, they were on the verge of irrelevance. They were simply drowning in their own vomit of "suckness"! We knew they would never be good, but if they could simply have a mouthpiece that we could focus our wrath upon, now that would be good. And then God blessed us with Akey. Now we don’t have to spew our well deserved "hate-itude" on the team that is simply "the poor, smelly kid"… We can blast it all upon the loud mouthed "Wipe from somebody elses bottom" loser of a coach. And there you have… Balance back in the forces of good and evil. Life is good!

by BSUphoria

Akey....not even close!

Yeah, he talks a lot of (bw). And anyone associated with the Vandals is generally a fine contender for this category. But the P.E. #1 candidates who are part of the media have done something that he hasn’t…hurt the Broncos.

by Cougarflounder

***

Akey is incompetent, but he is small beans compared to other PE candidates. Does this mean that Akey will always be a bridesmaid but never a bride? Apologies for the horrible mental image.

Let's give Kaepernick a spin.

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Colin Kaepernick can't be our PE #1

No one outside of the WAC knows who he is.

by SoundPound

Great argument for CK being public enemy # 1, but I’m afraid he’ll end up at the lower end of this list, based on the many brain-dead idiots yet to be profiled.

by typhoonblue

***

Typhoon seemed to share the sentiment of pretty much everyone but me: Kaepernick is the devil and all, but there are bigger devils to fry.

I am a little saddened by this. To me, Kaepernick is just the kind of person that Bronco fans should love to hate because he is the star of Boise State's biggest conference competition, he has made it clear that he does not like the Broncos, and he is overrated enough that pointing out his flaws is more of a public service than anything else. Colin Kaepernick makes the perfect Public Enemy candidate for me because he is perfectly inept and infuriating. Throw in the Tebow-like media bromance predestined to ensue this season, and you'll really have me shaking my fist at the heavens by mid-September.

***

Yeah, he's Tebow-like

I mean minus the Heisman trophy, 2 National Championships, Maxwell Award, Davey O’Brien Award…

by plainview88

***

And therein lies Kaepernick's problem: He hasn't done anything and isn't likely to do anything to justify being Public Enemy No. 1. He is more like Public Annoying Little Brother No. 1.

Sorry, Colin Kaepernick. You will have to resort to being made fun of in my personal journal on a daily basis. An excerpt from Saturday, May 8: "Colin Kaepernick is to WAC quarterbacks as Lance Bass was to N*Snyc."

Bass_medium

Lance Bass - astronaut ... and gay. (via www.nss.org)

With Wojciechowski out due to a a weak resume befitting a Vandal alum, Robb Akey gone thanks to his tempered efforts at mattering, and Kaepernick ousted for lack of being all that good, we are left with the two villains we knew we'd have when all is said and done. It's Mark May and Craig James, as it should be.

It's a toss-up for me right now, but I'm willing to be convinced one way or another. May is the epitome of non-BCS bias with his constant and, dare I say, scripted rants against Boise State and its credibility. James is an AP voter of idiocy, putting the Broncos lower than anyone else even considered.

How do you choose between these two? They might as well be the same person.

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No way anyone gets my vote over "Maig Jay"!

by BSUphoria

Maig Jay

I was thinking the same thing. Although to me it was Crark Maymes. We should just morph them together into a mutant Super PE#1!

If only I knew how to photoshop that…

by OBNUG Intern

***

Four months ago, Craig James was a shoo-in. We very nearly had his coronation ceremony then and there once he turned in his AP vote of infamy, ranking Boise State No. 7 against all common sense. Craig James if a failure at life. Why wouldn't we want him as Public Enemy No. 1?

***

SMU, Adam James, his AP ballot, and now Texas Tech. Is there anything Craig James can’t screw up?

by Loque

It is clinically impossible to hate him more than I already do.

by ty_ol

He is an idiot

And should be Public Enemy #1 for all of the non-BCS schools. that last vote was a joke Boise and TCU too low and Utah unranked. As for 2010 what has Nebraska down to be number 2, they have a bad offense and lost their best player. He is a joke.

by Jeremy Mauss

***

Could it be that Craig James has Gene Wojciechowski syndrome - a nominee for one disgusting offense against Bronco Nation but not much else? James' best hope at this point may be that 2010 ballot. He screwed over the Broncos once. Will he do it again in August?

I have a feeling that Mark May will.

***

Nice work ...

I was firmly in the Craig James camp, but I may be swinging towards May.

May might get my vote simply because there is plenty of other hate to go around for Craig James.

by MKingery

I seriously can't stand Mark May...

Yes, Craig James had his crappy votes in the AP poll, but it’s the AP poll…it isn’t calculated in the BCS formula. But Mark May makes me want to shoot myself…

Vote Mark May 2010.

by TheShrewdOne

Let's not put James ahead of May because of the AP vote

Rest assured, if Mark May had a vote, he would not have done the Broncos any better than the Pony. It would be unfair not to give him PE#1 for something beyond his control.

I hate both James and May, and it’s hard to tell who worse. I wish there was a way to settle this on the field. But alas, this is college football, where such options do not now exist.

by BSUDrew

***

If Mark May had a vote, would any non-BCS teams be on it at all? If Craig James had a platform to bash the Broncos on TV, would he take it?

We already know the answer to one of those questions, and it strikes a blow against James' candidacy. The Pony is on college football broadcasts all the time, and while his contributions to the broadcasts are largely cringe-worthy, they are not as regularly demeaning as May's talk is.

Would Mark May have really done worse than voting the Broncos seventh in the final AP poll of the 2009 season? I find it hard to believe that anyone could have a brain fart big enough to make that possible.

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I spent all day yesterday debating with myself who I dislike more, James or May.

I’m going with Craig James.

There’s his AP vote, which is beyond me why he even has one. This guy is every reason why there needs to be a playoff. I believe Kevan mentioned it back in January. James voted Boise State 7th in the final poll. The final point tally left the Broncos either 2 or 3 points behind Florida, putting them in 4th. Had James been realistic, and voted the Broncos 4th, they would have been ranked 3rd to finish the bowl season behind NCG particpants, Bama and Texas. I’m not whining about one poll spot mind you, I’m simply pointing out what bias, subjectivity, and and a mindless, power wielding BADWORD can do if given the opportunity.

by Mikrino

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Certainly, James' vote may have cost the Broncos a full spot in the rankings for the end of 2009. Top that, Mark May!

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Why I lean on May > James?

Mainly because what Kevan said last week. We’ve been wrong on the PE #1 for the past 2 years. Craig James hasn’t said anything as stupid since his AP vote. It’s my guess that he won’t until the Leach thing is over. May won’t say anything good about the Broncos because he probably is SEC-fans 4-letters mouthpiece.

by Loque

***

Craig James' silence has been deafening over the past several months, and when he had the chance to out-May Mark May on the TV broadcast of the Alabama spring game, he passed. I don't want to be wrong about Public Enemy No. 1 again. Will it be reparations for Craig James' horrendous AP vote or the lifetime achievement award for Mark May?

I know how I'm voting. Do you?

Public Enemy voting

The poll is open through tomorrow morning when the Public Enemy No. 1 winner is revealed. Vote in the poll and share your reasoning in the comments.