It is hard to go wrong with Boise State's Public Enemy No. 1 this year as there are so many candidates deserving of a year of despising. Which lowlife will it be?
Join me after the jump for a reader roundtable touching on each candidate and the pros and cons of voting them Public Enemy No. 1. Then weigh in with your vote in the poll and share your voting process in the comments. Winner is revealed tomorrow. Until then, let's debate.
This year's Public Enemy No. 1 contest feels a lot like the NBA playoffs. It takes place in May, I'm dragging it on way too long, it involves a bunch of personalities I don't particularly like, and it is rigged to have the two most obvious participants still standing at the end. The only thing missing is a Craig Sager doppleganger.
Craig James and Mark May are the L.A. Lakers and Cleveland Cavaliers of vanity and doofusness. And I fear there is no way that we can avoid their inevitable clash of meatheads for the Public Enemy title.
But by making this a two-nag race, I think we would be doing a disservice to the other despicable ne'er-do-wells on the Public Enemy candidate list. I mean, did you see the post-Humanitarian Bowl interview that Robb Akey did? It was as if someone told him the Shiloh Keo adoption paperwork had just come in. Did you read Gene Wojo's story after the Fiesta Bowl? It was a veritable Where the Red Fern Grows for non-BCS teams, except sadder and less interesting. And have you seen Colin Kaepernick lately? He is less of a passer and more of a media darling than ever. And can someone get him a muffin. The stiff breeze blowing through perma-empty Mackay Stadium is going to be the end of his Faberge legs one day.
Where to begin?
I am not a Gene Wojo fan, mostly because it would take giving birth to him to be a Gene Wojo fan, but I do have a harder time despising the ESPN blogporter than I do the rest of this Apple Dumpling gang of hosers. In fact, were it not for Wojo winning the people's vote as the fifth PE candidate, I doubt I would have given him much thought at all. It takes a special kind of blowhard to out blow Pat Hill, Bill Hancock, Troy Oppie, and Gregg Doyel.
Alas, I feel that Wojo already has received his comeuppance. What Mr. Fiskers has done, let no man undo.
Akey and Kaepernick are a different story. When was the last time we had a WAC rival as Public Enemy No. 1? The answer is never, mostly because this thing has only been going on for three years but also because our distaste for national media is insatiable.
I feel that overlooking Akey and Kaepernick would be a mistake - not a terribly egregious one because neither is very capable of making you pay unless you are UNLV or two-minute-drill Bowling Green. But still, a mistake. I guess the question for me is whether or not KaepernAkey's case against outweighs MayJames' case for.
Is Akey a terribly timely choice if he'll be coaching/guessing at Moscow for the next five years? Is Kaepernick worth the trouble since he never shows up when the Broncos are in town?
No doubt May and James don't have as much working against them (well except for common sense). React!
What can I say, Kevan? When you're right, you're right. Mark May and Craig James are sirloins while Robb Akey, Gene Wojalk...Gene, and Colin Kaepernick are merely rump roast. I can't argue that the latter three belong in the discussion, but when I look at those names all I really see is Blowhard, Pot-stirrer, Twig. However, Mark May and Craig James help to form public opinion about the Broncos...and in an area where Boise State could use all the help it can get...they fail miserably.
If you'll excuse my rabid homerism for a moment...outside of perpetually downtrodden WAC teams, what is there to dislike about Boise State football? We have an innovative coach who's so squeaky clean, he makes choir boys look like the Cosa Nostra, and we have a rag-tag bunch of players that weren't "big enough" or "fast enough" to play for the traditional powers yet buy into, and flourish in, one of the best systems in college football. We also have a team that will routinely put up 50 or 60 points per contest. From my perspective, that's a team worth rooting for, but mssrs. May and James try their level best to stomp on the fingers of the Broncos as they ascend the ladder towards college football immortality. Sports punditry rooting against the Broncos—it ain't like rooting against Steinbrenner and the Yankees...it's like rooting against Norman Dale and Hickory High.
And now some reader wisdom...
Sorry, Gene Woj. You are not the weakest link, unless we are talking about football analysis, in which case you are tied with Pam Ward.
Now, before we move onto the main course of MayJames, I'd prefer we make absolutely certain that neither Colin Kaepernick nor Robb Akey are deserving of being mentioned alongside the two biggest losers.
Let's start with Akey. He is belligerent, overrated, and the face of the team that Bronco fans hate the most. Why wouldn't this guy be Boise State's Public Enemy No. 1?
Akey is incompetent, but he is small beans compared to other PE candidates. Does this mean that Akey will always be a bridesmaid but never a bride? Apologies for the horrible mental image.
Let's give Kaepernick a spin.
Typhoon seemed to share the sentiment of pretty much everyone but me: Kaepernick is the devil and all, but there are bigger devils to fry.
I am a little saddened by this. To me, Kaepernick is just the kind of person that Bronco fans should love to hate because he is the star of Boise State's biggest conference competition, he has made it clear that he does not like the Broncos, and he is overrated enough that pointing out his flaws is more of a public service than anything else. Colin Kaepernick makes the perfect Public Enemy candidate for me because he is perfectly inept and infuriating. Throw in the Tebow-like media bromance predestined to ensue this season, and you'll really have me shaking my fist at the heavens by mid-September.
And therein lies Kaepernick's problem: He hasn't done anything and isn't likely to do anything to justify being Public Enemy No. 1. He is more like Public Annoying Little Brother No. 1.
Sorry, Colin Kaepernick. You will have to resort to being made fun of in my personal journal on a daily basis. An excerpt from Saturday, May 8: "Colin Kaepernick is to WAC quarterbacks as Lance Bass was to N*Snyc."
With Wojciechowski out due to a a weak resume befitting a Vandal alum, Robb Akey gone thanks to his tempered efforts at mattering, and Kaepernick ousted for lack of being all that good, we are left with the two villains we knew we'd have when all is said and done. It's Mark May and Craig James, as it should be.
It's a toss-up for me right now, but I'm willing to be convinced one way or another. May is the epitome of non-BCS bias with his constant and, dare I say, scripted rants against Boise State and its credibility. James is an AP voter of idiocy, putting the Broncos lower than anyone else even considered.
How do you choose between these two? They might as well be the same person.
Four months ago, Craig James was a shoo-in. We very nearly had his coronation ceremony then and there once he turned in his AP vote of infamy, ranking Boise State No. 7 against all common sense. Craig James if a failure at life. Why wouldn't we want him as Public Enemy No. 1?