The bright lights of ESPN and the shiny forehead of Rodney Gilmore will usher in a national audience for tonight's Bronco game against Louisiana Tech (6:00pm, ESPN, set your DVRs). It will be the first of four ESPN games for Boise State, and it will also be the first chance that the entire country will get to watch the Kellen Moore-led Broncos. What a treat for them.
As such, we have prepared the following viewer's guide for both Bronco fans who will be watching at home and college football fans across the country. There's even some good information to learn for those of you headed to the game.
Let's get right to it.
The last two times the Bulldogs have traveled to face the Broncos, Boise State has won 55-14. This is called historical precedence. The Supreme Court uses precedence to give people the death penalty and ban immigrants from the U.S. Bronco fans use precedence to sleep easier at night and flame on Louisiana Tech message boards.
Do not adjust your monitors. The field is actually blue. We just wanted to get this joke out of the way before the ESPN guys had a chance to use it.
Fun fact: Taylor Bennett is the 116th rated quarterback in the country. For the record, there are 117 teams in the country.
Ian Johnson typically has a strong game when the ESPN cameras are turned on, mostly because the KTVB cameras make his rear end look big and he gets all self-conscious. Expect a big game from him tonight for no other reason than that he usually has big games on nights like this.
Yes, that is a spasmodic Verizon cellphone mascot on the sideline. We are not proud of it.
We are, however, proud of the Idaho Powerball. He's the red ball who claps himself when he's happy.
Kellen Moore is one of the most exciting freshmen in the country, and he has been the focal point of the Bronco offense up to this point in the season. If Louisiana Tech can stop him, then the Bulldogs must be cheating because no one can stop Kellen Moore. Ask Oregon head coach Mike Bellotti.
Bronco fans worked very hard on coordinating their outfits as it is related to the section they are sitting in. Please appreciate this.
If Derek Dooley and Chris Petersen were politicians instead of football coaches, our country would not be in a financial crisis, the education system would not be failing, and Osama bin Laden would not still be on the loose. He would be watching University of Idaho football games at Guantanamo Bay.
David Augusto will be more than happy to fill in as a sideline reporter in case, you know, some ESPN person gets sick or something.