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Season-ending mononucleosis claims first ever victim

San Jose State wide receiver Kevin Jurovich will most likely miss the rest of the season with a bad case of mononucleosis - a disease whose No. 1 symptom is feeling lazy.

Jurovich, who broke the Spartans' single-season receiving record last year, has been inactive since Week Two, and head coach Dick Tomey is not optimistic about his return to the lineup any time soon.

"It would be a surprise if he were able to play again this year,'' Tomey said. "He has a very enlarged spleen, and that is very dangerous, and he's lost a considerable amount of weight.''

When reached for comment, mononucleosis had this to say:
"I never thought this day would come. I've been putting in so much hard work, infecting non-hygienic freshman guys and couples making out. I never thought I'd be able to bring down a football player! I'd like to thank God, thank my parents... Yeah! This just feels so GOOD! In your face, spinal meningitis!"

One of Boise State's chief rivals this season may end up being San Jose State, so the loss of Jurovich will make the Spartans' chances of an upset less likely. No word yet on whether or not Tomey plans on using Jurovich to cough on cornerbacks later in the season.

Read more: SJSU's top receiver probably will miss rest of season [Mercury News]