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Dustin Lapray pens preview to end all previews

There comes a point in every writer's life where they reach the absolute peak of their potential and create a masterpiece that cannot be topped. Dustin Lapray reached that point last night. Or he reached that point five years ago, and we're now starting to see the downward slope of his career. It kind of depends on how you look at it.

One thing's for sure is that Lapray's Bronco game preview blog post deserves attention. It doesn't necessarily deserve good attention, for a lot of it doesn't make sense. But it is by far the most unique piece of Bronco journalism we have read all year, and it is wonky, cumbersome, and deliciously awkward even for a typical Lapray post.

Let's get started, shall we?

So weird, these Wednesday games. It’s like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a tortilla. It just doesn’t seem right, but it still tastes good.

Non-sequitur analogy? Check.
I stand for the national anthem and remark on the late-arriving crowd. The color scheme is back, gotta love that stuff. Some teams ask for blackouts (ouch Georgia!) and the whiteout at Penn State made the place seem spotless, but this alternating blue and orange has a strange way of compelling the eyes.

So, too, bandanas.
It is a beautiful day, a stupendous way to begin the month of October. I wore a dime-store suit jacket tonight, ugly as all get out. It’s hot. I sweat. But I get the feeling it will cool off when the October sun sets.

"I sweat" just became our new Facebook message.
I am caught wondering about this game, its ins and outs. Football is such a surprising sport, in that all expectations are thrown out a broken window and there is just a clock and two teams trying to prove which is better. It is a troubling conundrum, this development and evaluation. We get to watch this confrontation, write about it, swap regurgitated stories around water coolers and parking lots, dinner tables and breakfast nooks. These games, even though played on hump day effectively spawn conversation between often complete strangers.

We love swapping regurgitated things at the breakfast nook.
I went to Twin Falls last Thursday to have dinner at the Turf Club, a Kiwanis dinner in which the charitable group of civic leaders honored my lifelong mentor, Jim O’Donnell. After the dinner I broke into spontaneous conversation with a man and woman who’d ventured to Eugene, who’d read this blog and I was simply reminded of the impact a few tumbling descriptions and scribbled evaluations can make in this world.

That was awfully nice of Mr. and Mrs. Don't Exist.
I guess that is my role.

Oh, you have no idea, Dustin Lapray.

Read more: Pre-game LaTech [BSU Blog] (ed's note: there's nothing more to read; we posted the whole thing)