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NFL mock draft, OBNUG-style!

After a stirring day of workouts at Boise State's Pro Day on Monday, we feel that several former Broncos helped their causes tremendously. How tremendously? How does ten Broncos in the first ten picks sound? Check it out:

  1. Miami Dolphins: S Marty Tadman
    The Dolphins need a lot of things, and Tadman is a lot of things. He is a safety. He is a licensed minister. He is a fan of DC Talk. His sheer football smarts alone would make him a candidate for defensive coordinator. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. He can't save this franchise in one day. He'll need at least a week and a half.
  2. St. Louis Rams: LT Ryan Clady
    Experts had Clady predicted to go as high as number five to the Chiefs, but his Pro Day workout changed everyone's opinions. The Rams need talent along that offensive line to help keep paper-mache Marc Bulger healthy. Clady will do just that. And if Bulger does happen to get injured, Clady will fly around the world so fast that the earth rotates backward on its axis, causing time to go in reverse and allowing Clady the chance to save Bulger from a separated shoulder.
  3. Atlanta Falcons: CB Orlando Scandrick
    The Falcons' love affair with confident defensive backs led them straight to Scandrick. They needed someone to lock down wide receivers, and DeAngelo Hall needed someone to run shirtless sprints with.
  4. Oakland Raiders: DE Nick Schlekeway
    The Raiders had their eye on Arkansas RB Darren McFadden, but they couldn't pass up the awesomeness of a Boise State defensive lineman. Chris Carr had a big say in this decision.
  5. Kansas City Chiefs: QB Taylor Tharp
    Unsure of Brodie Croyle's progress, the Chiefs reached for Tharp to give Croyle some competition. While there were better quarterbacks in the draft, Kansas City was drawn to Tharp by the way he threw lazy out patterns, and they were not at all discouraged that no one wanted to see him throw at BSU's Pro Day. No one really wants to see Croyle throw, either.
  6. New York Jets: CB Rashaun Scott
    Drafting Darrel Revis last year helped out the Jets secondary, and adding Scott will continue the trend. With Scandrick and Tadman off the board, the Jets went with the next best available BSU defensive back, owing to the greatness of the Boise State secondary and Tadman's golden touch.
  7. New England Patriots: OL Tad Miller
    The Patriots didn't need to add much to their juggernaut, but Miller will make an excellent fit along the strong offensive line. Miller improved his draft status by recovering from a knee injury, which is a highly coveted skill in the NFL.
  8. Baltimore Ravens: FB Michael Lose
    Drafting a fullback in the top ten is generally unheard of, but the Ravens needed a valuable asset to the running game and special teams. Plus, Lose's hair can do magic things.
  9. Cincinnati Bengals: OL Jeff Cavender
    Cavender impressed scouts at the Pro Day with his strength and agility, but what pushed him into the top ten was his ability of mitosis. Having two identical versions of oneself is a rare commodity in the NFL.
  10. New Orleans Saints: OL Dan Gore
    The fourth BSU offensive lineman to go in the first ten picks, Gore will be a great fit in the high-powered attack of the Saints. He already knows the ins and outs of creative offenses, and he can grow long, intimidating hair if he needs to. The Saints valued this higher than anything else.