FanPost

dUI penalized by NCAA for academic ineptitude


Come on, now--don't anyone say they didn't see this one coming.

The Vandull football team, representing their school's self-proclaimed status as the "Harvard of the West," was slapped by the NCAA for a consistently poor annual APR--Academic Progress Rate. We have reported on the comparative scores of national and regional teams over the last few years, and, as I recall, Boise State University was tied with Stanford for second place in the nation (please correct me if I'm wrong--it's been awhile since I posted that article). At any rate, the Bronco football team was WAY up there. And Idaho was WAY down.

Statesman story here.

The primary penalty, to those unfamiliar with the Joke Tribe From the North, might seem painful, but, in reality, it's really a moot point. Idaho is prohibited from participating in post-season play this year. That's a bowl game, folks. (Please--try to contain your laughter. This is a serious sanction! Really!)

A more meaningful penalty imposed on the Vandulls is that they must give up four hours of practice each week, devoting those hours instead to STUDY HALL. Now, there is an idea with which I agree. The news release from the Moscow Administration states that they are going to annex Crimea find a "quiet study area in the Kibbie Dome." I assume that means the stands during a dUI football game, which has to be one of the quietest and most boring locales in the panhandle.

I do not know how the unwashed tribe is reacting to this news, and perhaps I'll pop up to their blog to witness their seppuku and observe the inevitable "Blame Boise" ritual. I suspect that there might be more calls for the head of AD Spears, who has been unpopular ever since he secretly flew on one of those Boise State airplanes because the dUI plane kept crashing. (They finally figured out that they should relocate the junior high school's goal posts away from the end of the runway.)

This is tough news for our Boise neighbors (and some family!) who support the Vandulls. So, if you catch them avoiding your eyes, take pity--then throw it out the window and rub it in with relish! Harvard should sue for defamation.

This content was not created by OBNUG and therefore may not meet our standards. On the contrary, it probably exceeds them.

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