FanPost

Revamping The Kickoff Rules - If Appointed By The President As Football Czar

Czar Brontoya

Surprisingly their is a family resemblance.

Governments regulate everything else, why not appoint someone as incompetent as me to be the Czar over football? Okay, Condoleeza Rice would be just as incompetent and she already has football experience.

Well, there has been quite a discussion about kickoffs, players getting hurt, allow a touchback, or role the dice and advance the ball. As czar I can do anything and nobody else has to like it. I got complete control and if you don't like it remember Stalin's great purge. There, I thought you'd come around, comrade. (I know, Russian Communists' Party leaders and premiers were not technically Czars, but anyone who can do something to you at their whim is a czar in my book.)

The beauty of this whole thing is that no five year plan is needed. It's immediate. Coaches, players, fans, and commentators can weenie whine all they want. Remember the purge or Siberia; or worse yet, Buffalo. (I had to pick some place.)

Decrees From Czar Brontoya

Time does not start until the ball is caught, or hits the ground.

With that in view, no defensive player or offensive player may move forward until time actually starts (when the ball is caught or hits the ground).

Teams line up on the forty.

The receiving team must place 7 players on the 40. They must hold that position until the ball is caught or hits the ground. The kicking team can't cross their 40 yard line until the ball is caught or hits the ground.

One receiving team player besides the receiver is allowed to be in motion. The front seven is not allowed motion before the ball being caught or hits the ground. (Sounds like a lot of redundancy, but I'm Czar and can speak for hours if I wish.)

All off sides and motion rules will apply just as they do on a regular play from scrimmage.

Every kick that is kicked in the field of play must be returned. The receiver may take a fair catch and the ball is place where it was caught.

A ball kicked out of the end zone or carries the receiver out of the end zone is placed on the 50 yard line. The reason; the kicking team has denied the receiving team the right advance the ball or score. (I even thought about placing the ball for the receiving team on the kicking team's 40 and assessing a 15 yard penalty from there, thus placing the ball on the 25, which sounds like a good idea. So it is said, so it is written, now sounding like a Pharaoh.)

If the referees rule that a receiver intentionally allows the kick to carry him out of bounds the kicking team is awarded a touchdown and it is credited to the kicker.

Once a ball carrier's knee is on the ground any player who makes contact will be penalized. The contact must be a body hit. Incidental contact like with the hands will not be penalized. The penalty will be from the spot of the foul or the original line of scrimmage, the kicking team's 40. It will be a 15 yard penalty for unnecessary roughness.

The kicker may only be blocked if he is advancing toward the ball. If he is, it is treated like a roughing the kicker penalty.

The receiver may throw a forward pass anytime before he reaches the receiving team's forty yard line.

The receiving team may even punt the ball before reaching the forty. I don't know why, but every game has a stupid rule.

I think this would open the game up, cut down injuries, and preserves the integrity of present rules.

From Where Shall I Rule?

Every Czar I know worth his salt or borscht needs a Kremlin. Does anyone know of a seedy little joint in, let's say, Moscow, Idaho? What! It's either there or Russia, Ohio.

This content was not created by OBNUG and therefore may not meet our standards. On the contrary, it probably exceeds them.

Trending Discussions