As Boise State's brand grows, so does the amount of licensed Bronco merchandise. I've tracked down the must-have Bronco items so you don't have to. Get your wallets out.
Bronco duct tape
Price: $11.66 for 10 yards
For: The resourceful Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "Looks good and is cheaper than a sticker." —guy who buys $12 stickers
Sure, it costs about twice as much as 10 yards of standard duct tape...but it has the Bronco logo on it! You could duct tape the front bumper back on an IROC-Z and it would still look classy as hell.
Boise State toothbrush
For: The hygienic Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "I brushed my teeth with this ONCE. The plaque was too scared to ever return." —Joe Wilson, DDS
A regular toothbrush may only run you about $2...but this one is worth the extra coinage. The bristles are laid out in a 4-2-5 alignment, so the end bristles rush at the tartar buildup and then the nickel bristles come out of nowhere to annihilate plaque. Freshens breath as well.
Boise State fleece dog sweatshirt
Price: $13.49 –$19.99
For: The furry Bronco fan
Testimonial: "I put this sweatshirt on my mini Dachshund and he promptly went out and killed a Pit Bull" —Anonymous
Don't even think of putting this on your cat.
Boise State salted peanuts
Price: $20.80 for a 4 pack
For: The snacky Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "I have a horrible peanut allergy, but after eating these...all that swelled was my sense of pride." —Al Lerchick
I would work for peanuts if they were these peanuts.
Boise State football bracelet
For: The hipster Bronco.
Testimonial: "Not exclusively for hippies although it will align all of your chakras and bring you enlightenment." —Manny
If you don't bathe in patchouli or even own a dreamcatcher...this bracelet is still certified to be awesome.
Boise State Blue Cheese Wing dip
Price: $27.60 for a six pack
For: The dippy Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "You can really taste the Bronco." —Gordon Ramsey
If you spill any of this on your self, wipe off immediately. Will cause cannibalism.
Boise State garden gnome
For: The green-thumbed Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "My garden used to have a horrible mole problem...now the moles won't stop hitting on me." —Gnorm
Made in the exact likeness of Jon Gott.
Bronco baby pacifiers
Price: $8.62 for 2
For: The drooly Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "With the Bronco baby pacifier...my 3 month old is sucking at a 6 month level." —Jeanette
I'm already sending these to Nick Kroes (who had a baby girl over the weekend...well, his wife did).
"Boise State" rap song by Da Sixteens
For: The rappin' Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "The only song currently on my ipod." —Bob Kustra
Honestly, I don't know what this song has to do with Boise State, other than a few token references, but if you must listen to this song...do so with the volume low (cursin').
Boise State Wayfarer sunglasses
For: The cool Bronco fan.
Testimonial: "Every time I put these on, the opening music from CSI: Miami plays" —Tom
With these sunglasses, you can look directly into the sun* and the sun will hide behind clouds.
*Do not look directly into the sun.
More, more, more
There are literally hundreds of licensed Bronco items out there, from the ridiculous to the sublime. If you find some more must-haves...or just something we can make fun of—please share.