Did you guys hear? That Avengers movie made, like, a billion dollars at the box office last weekend. And Batman wasn't even in it! (I'm a little fuzzy on the whole Avengers concept.)
The incredible success of the movie combined with the whimsical editorial freedom of offseason football blogging got me thinking: What Boise State football players would best fit in the roles of the Avengers characters? Sounds like journalism to me. Here's what I came up with. Feel free to disagree in the comments.
Joe Southwick as Iron Man
The Iron Man character is a playboy philanthropist genius by day and a playboy robot person do-gooder by night. Judging by the reaction of Joe Southwick to Joe Southwick throwing a scrimmage-winning touchdown pass in the spring game, I think we might have a personality match. Also, Southwick can seem robotic in the pocket. Someone had to say it.
Matt Miller as Captain America
The All-American, clean-cut hero fits Miller's All-American, clean-cut profile very nicely. He practically oozes apple pie, which I think might actually be one of Captain America's super powers (again, not too informed on the whole super hero thing).
Mike Atkinson as the Hulk
Mike Atkinson is huge. Also, that whole rage thing could explain some of the team suspensions that were part of Bacon's past.
Lee Hightower as Thor
Thor's greatest weapon is his hammer, which he uses to lay waste to his enemies. Sound like a certain safety ou know? Little known fact: Thor is based on Lee Hightower (Marvel comic book writers have a time machine and are fans of Boise State football).
D.J. Harper as Black Widow
As the story goes, Black Widow is a highly-trained SHIELD spy whose job involves recon on Iron Man and sexy spin moves away from danger. D.J. Harper has the latter covered, and for the former, why do you think he stuck around for six years just to play with Joe Southwick, a.k.a. Iron Man? Also, little known Black Widow fact: She has two torn ACLs.
Trevor Harman as Hawkeye
Hawkeye's contribution to the Avengers team is his bow and arrow, the punter of super hero weaponry. His sniper mentality and training make him somewhat of a loner - always practicing target shooting on his own, away from the other Avengers, like a true special teamer. Harman's punting makes this character a good fit, assuming we agree that his marksmanship at the spring game never happened.
Chris Petersen as Nick Fury
As the director of SHIELD, Nick Fury is responsible for coordinating the Avengers and making sure none of them are inviting X-Men over to sleep on couches or carpool. Coach Pete's job is basically the same.
Pete Kwiatkowski as Maria Hill
Maria Hill is Fury's right-hand man (er, woman) and helps Fury with all the day-to-day responsibilities of managing super persons. Kwiatkowski serves a similar role with Coach Pete. I immediately regret comparing Coach K to a girl.
What Boise State players and coaches do you think best fit the Avengers roles? How was the movie? Should I see it in a theater or in a Redbox? Share your thoughts in the comments.