"Despise the enemy strategically, but take him seriously tactically." —Mao Tse-Tung
The quandary that I've faced this season is whether to pen all new material for our conference-mates' Know your enemy articles, or re-run a "best of" since we shant be seeing them on the field again. The quandary part is that running a "best of" makes me look lazy, but I assure you, Colorado State's inaugural know your enemy piece was so utterly chock-full of amazing factoids that I couldn't bear to part with a single one. I hope you enjoy each and every bit of random trivia about our senior day foes and remember that cutting and pasting is hard work too.
Ten things Bronco fans might not know about the Rams or their Rocky Mountain residence
10) You'd have probably never guessed, but Fort Collins—the home of Colorado State University—was indeed once a fort—and one a fair shake more durable than the pillow and blanket one that I slept in from ages 4–7. The settlement was founded in 1864 when soldiers from the 9th Kansas Cavalry were dispatched from nearby Fort Laramie to guard the Overland Stage Line. The post was named "Camp Collins" in honor of Colonel William Oliver Collins (Tom's brother...Joan's uncle), but was destroyed by a flood a few months later. Looking for a new site, the commanders consulted a local farmer named Joseph "Perry" Mason, who showed them a sweet little tract of land on the Cache La Poudre river (Spanish for "it breaks Poudre") where they could move their little fort. Within a few more months, the site was ready for occupation and the order book referred to the location as "Fort Collins" rather than "Camp Collins" and well, I guess the rest is history. Fact is, the "camp" moniker was probably a better fit since the outpost had no walls, meaning that basically it was just some cabins and tents in a field. Come to think of it, I think my pillow fort might've given this one a run for the money. He-Man pillowcases are the spackle that holds a good fort together.
9) In 1872 the town of Fort Collins experienced its first population boom thanks in part to the establishment of an agricultural colony. The cosmopolitan pursuits of rock quarrying, sugar beet farming, and sheep slaughter really put the berg on the map and by 1900 the surplus of beet tops and sheep led the metropolis to become known as the "lamb feeding capital of the world". I have a sneaking suspicion that in the early 1900s towns that did stuff that was too boring or unprofitable for other towns to do often labeled themselves as "____ capital of the world"—besides, it looked better on the town population sign than "Beets and Sheep, 4 for a dollar".
8) Colorado State University was founded as the Agricultural College of Colorado in 1870, fully six years before Colorado achieved statehood. The school got its start thanks to the oft-mentioned Morrill Land Grant College act and was penciled out on a 30-acre land parcel that stood vacant until the first building "the Claim Shanty" was erected in 1874. I know what you're thinking...4 years to build one building? Well, they didn't have teamsters back then, otherwise it might have taken 6! /rimshot. All jokes aside (but not too far aside), the school had to jump through all the regular bureaucratic hoops and funds had to be raised and allocated before the Beets 'n Sheep institution could get off the ground...which it eventually did when the first students arrived in 1879. The university's first president, Elijah "Easy E" Edwards, had been a civil war chaplain and bore an uncanny resemblance to David Crosby.
7) Colorado State played their first football game in 1890 but had no coach, and presumably no arms and legs and saw their 2 game season end winless against the likes of Colorado and the Colorado School of Mines. Of course, you can't fault them too much, as Colorado at the time had a live buffalo playing center and the School of Mines were allowed to utilize the tools of their trade—pickaxes and dynamite. By 1903, CSU finally produced a winning season under head coach Matt Rothwell. Rothwell had enough sense to leave Fort Collins after one season, and history rewarded him for it by making him the CSU coach with the highest win percentage ever (.833). Sadly, it took the Rams another 12 years before recording another winning season—this time under Harry Hughes, who is both the winningest, losingest, tyingest, and longest-tenured coach in the school's history. Hughes had 19 winning seasons in his 32 years at the helm. In the 64 years since Hughes' last game, the Rams have had just 27 winning seasons...setting them up for a Bad News Bears-esque title run in 2034.
6) My favorite CSU football coach of all-time is Sark Arslanian, who coached the Rams from 1973 to 1981 and whose name was voted "most Armenian" by Head Coaching Quarterly. Arslanian is still coaching to this day, albeit eighth graders in St. George, Utah...making him the oldest active coach football coach in the U.S.—and I'm using the term "active" very lightly—he's 88.
A swarthy Lee Corso.
5) Picking the best player in Colorado State history is a largely subjective undertaking, but I'd say that Thurman "Fum" McGraw has a pretty strong case. Fum—who had brothers named Fee, Fie, and Fo—enrolled at CSU (then known as Colorado A&M) in 1946 after serving a stint with the Marines in WWII and quickly became a dominant defensive end for the Rams (then known as the Aggies). Fum's boxing and wrestling background and 6'5" frame helped him become the school's first consensus All-American in 1948...a feat he repeated in 1949. After graduating, Fum was drafted by the Detroit Lions and was selected Rookie of the Year and an All-Pro in his first season. Fum only played 5 seasons in the NFL, but was good enough to be elected to the Hall of Fame in 1981. A CSU booster till his death in 2000, Fum would often visit the locker room and recite what is now known as "Fum's Song", a harmless ditty that denigrates their rival institutions. Of course, since this is the 21st century, and no one can be offended or the least bit put out, ever, the school was asked to halt the playing of a video of McGraw singing "Fum's Song" on the stadium jumbotron prior to the 2006 season. I've embedded the video of ole Fum belting out his tune below...but get ready to clutch your pearls, because—hoo boy—is it objectionable.
'Better than Cornell'? You sir, have highly offended one Andrew "Nard Dog" Bernard!
4) CSU employs (he works for sugar beets) a Rambouillet Bighorn Sheep named CAM as their live mascot for football games. The Ram, now in it's 21st iteration, takes the field before games and at halftime and will give a hearty "BAA" when asked about this year's CSU squad. The mascot(s) got the name CAM in 1946 when a acronymically gifted alumnus suggested the name to stand for Colorado Agricultural and Mechanical College...wait, that's CAMC! What are you playing at?! At any rate, the 22nd CAM was "unveiled" last season and he tasted just delicious.
3) The Rams play their home football games at Hughes Stadium (capacity 34,400) and have since 1968. The stadium bears the name of coach Harry Hughes, who as you learned before was the Joe Paterno of CSU football. The field surface is named after another legendary Ram coach, Sonny Lubick, who led the team for 15 years only retiring in 2007 after it seemed he'd lost his touch. The first ever game at Hughes Stadium took place in September of '68, and the Rams fell to a Mean Joe Greene-led North Texas State squad. After the game however, in a show of respect and admiration, Greene presented CSU coach Mike Lude with a game-worn jersey in exchange for a bottle of Coca-Cola.
2) While CU-Boulder is a natural in-state rival—the oldest (and some say, bitterest) rival for CSU is the University of Wyoming. CSU and Wyoming have played 102 times dating back to 1899, with CSU having won 55 of the contests to date. Since 1968, the winner of the "border war" has received the Bronze Boot trophy, which is (gasp) a bronzed boot that was worn by CSU ROTC instructor Capt. Dan Romero in Vietnam. Make no mistake...the boot was made for walking, and that's just what it did.
A Bronze odor-eater is inside.
1) Actor John Amos of "Oh, that guy" fame, is a CSU alum and former member of the football squad. In 1964, Amos signed a free agent contract with the Denver Broncos but was released soon after and then bounced around the UFL, the CFL, and the ACFL before getting another shot at the big-time with a free agent contract with the Kansas City Chiefs where coach Hank Stram subtly told him that maybe writing was a better career direction. A few years later, Amos landed on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and then continued his career on shows like Maude and Good Times—a show that killed off his character because he disagreed with the direction the show was going. Now, you're probably beginning to say to yourself "Oh, that guy". Yes, yes...that guy.
Notable "that guy", John Amos.