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MUNSON'S GAZETTA: ON GOAT SACRIFICE AND THE ROCKETS' RED GLARE

The front page of the Statesman boldly proclaimed that goats are being used, succesfully, to eradicate weeds in the foothills.Now, we dodged a bullet last week when I was in Seattle and thus unable to perform the necessary ritual slaughter needed to expiate the bad karma which can come from premature expressions of overconfidence, smugness, or other indicia that NUGies were taking an opponent for granted, thus infuriating the karma gods, the leeser gods responsible for football games, superficial acne, and parking tickets (never pray to the Big Guy about football; it pisses Him off (trust me) and if you follow the news any given day you can see what happens when He decides 'I'll give you something to really feel bad about!"). NUGies came through, nary a smug secure sound from the bunch, but we were playing Georgia in an opener. Our next matchup has me worried, and thus this post. Not only are goat prices going through the roof, but the karma gods are already toasted 'cuz I haven't given 'em a sacrifice in a long while due to the prices. Those of you who suggested I purchase them at the Idaho State Fair could not have been Moore off base; those 4-H' ers drive a harder bargain than a Libyan rug merchant wiht Col. Gaddafhi as a cousin (I mean back in the day; you could probably get a good rug price from him now).

Let's be clear NUGies; I want NO KARMA GOD INSULTING MAKE MUNSON SACRIFICE COMMENTS POSTED AT OBNUG-NOT A ONE! My reasons are not entirely religious. I have liked the Rockets for a long time now-they're kinda' the Boise State of the 2010 era (what do we call this decade-soon we can call them the 'teens, but right now?) I started watching them because they had to play Tuesday, Wednesdays and other "off" nights Familiar). They played a lot of overlooked guys and the played with heart, energy and imagination (see previous). Their conference doesnt get much respect (ditto) but I enjoyed the brio and spontaneity of the palyers, fans and coaches. And be not mistaken O My Brothers-they will be ready, and excited, and confident. We've seen several teams (recall Tulsa last year?) give us a real game, and Ohio takes no backseat to any when it comes to football crazy (ok maybe to Texas, but who doesn't). We've given them the stage, lit the candles, and poured the champagne (wait-that metaphor got away from me;well, what I mean is this has all the makings of a karma god lava pour straight out of "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" without the monkey heads). Plus the Rockets' helmets are sick,as is the team name and concept. Rockets can destroy aircraft carriers, buildings, cities even despite being a fraction their size, an infintesimal portion of their cost. What greater metaphor than a red-hot, "lit up" rocket team obliterating the pretensions of the Boise State dynamo, doing to Boise State what Boise State has done to so many others,most recently the SEC perennial Georgisa Bulldogs? Another thing about thtis game bothers me-it takes place in Toldeo. As NUGies know, this city is the setting (Toledo, Spain that is) for Edgar Allen Poe's classic "The Pit and the Pendulum" during the Spanish Inquisition. The poor hapless narrator is subject toseveral perils, including the scythe at the end of the pendulum, until finally he is confornted with the closiing of the red-hot walls which will force him into the pit, to his doom. He is saved when the French retake Toledo (somewhat historically inaccurate) and he is rescued. Red hot walls, like red hot rockets? Mere coincidence-or foreshadowing? Why take a chance? Do we want to be like the Spanish Inquisitors, assured that our victim must die, and horribly, and thus overconfidently leave his execution to the mindless workings of our (presumably, but not as it turns out inevitably) infallible killing machine?

I think not, oh most indubitably not (ref "A Clockwork Orange")! Yes, rather let us be like the French liberators of Toledo, who by leaving no stone unturned and investigating the odd structure which housed "The Pit"'s protagonist were able to effectuate his miraculous escape. Let us not act as though the contest is already over, even in our thoughts, lest the karma gods be aroused. No real NUGies enjoys diminishing the game by making these sorts of comments anyway. And should I find such a comment, and thus be forced to this year's first goat sacrifice, well, be advised fellow NUGies I shall not only implore the gods to spare us their vengeance, but I shall make a small side deal with them, directed at the offender. Vindictive? Yes. Have I made myself absolutely clear?

This content was not created by OBNUG and therefore may not meet our standards. On the contrary, it probably exceeds them.

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