Welcome to the hot new game show: Are You Smarter Than a University President? In this contest, years of education, management skills, weighty decision-making, and the responsibility of employing hundreds of people don't count. A near 24/7/365 schedule can't slow you down. Battling with the State legislature, the State Board of Education, nonstop fundraising, and adjudicating competing factions within your school matter little. Budgeting is for fools.

If you excel at second-guessing, jumping to conclusions, and sheer indignance, you're already off to a great start. Inchoate rage and disgust are key qualities. Think you've got what it takes? Don't worry, though. In this game, your judgment will never be called into question. You won't have to worry about everyone wondering about your massive ego or borderline insanity. No, you can run the university as you damn well please and...hey, think of all the perks!