FanPost

Notso True Grit V1(ed2)

Well readers…here’s the second installment of NTG.  In all good conscience, I can’t overlook the unexpected embrace given by some OBNUGgies to MR…TOADMAN in the last issue—wonders will never cease to amaze (for reals players?).  So, I won’t attempt to avoid the protectionism already tendered towards today’s troll opposing gladiator, especially since in the last week he has brightened his tone, considerably…dang!  I just ask that you keep the Disclaimer* in mind as well as the point that the expounding below can easily be compressed into fewer and simpler terms, but it wouldn’t be near as novel, or time-consuming until the next live Bronco game.  So, in case you haven’t yet connected the dots that I probably spent way too much attention absorbing the humor and twisted genius of the writers from MAD magazine and the Daily Show…I offer for your entertainment and thumbastic judgment…

HERE’S TO YOU, Mr. …   CAN’TSEEMTOKEEPMYDAWGINMYPOCKET—First&Thom

                When your blogs seem to both appreciate and insult your opponent fans and none of them quite yet know how to take that form of verbal effrontery… when your team enthusiasm ofeternal dominance over the Broncos seems to hinge on only one previous contest before all the subsequent BSU FBS wins stunned your primary benefactor BCS crooks cronies into DOJ fear-mode… when figurative newspapers of Bronco skill parity are rolled up and bouncing in front of your nose but instead you salivate over them as if they were the tasty bones of weight deficiencies… when UGA players are migrating to other conferences en masse, toying with suspensions, and being reshuffled on the team roster to unbefore practiced positions, and you liken it to HC just being a shrewd riverboat gambler … when the game-field is dubbed a neutral site and 53K seats are equated to 7.5K—and southern math is NOT held accountable… when OBNUGgies profess their team’s eminence on their own blogsite, and you only see it as your dog-bound-duty to guard your territory despite it not being your territory at all and then advance your team’s 3 Sept. prospects beyond obvious probabilities … AND,  when everyone at OBNUG lovingly bends down to scratch the those poor clipped ears and pat the worried furrowed brows of one of the most cuddly ugliest dogs in the Deep South…

Then let it be known world-wide that you may be just a much maligned and misunderstood mutt.  Canis domesticus familiaris anglicus bovinicus may be your name, but condescension innocent Southern hospitality is your game.  It’s not your fault that you were merely only probably accidentally created to grab bullish proboscis and hold on no matter what damage happens to your diminutive yet durable body when the Vick-like gamers toss you into the pit of SB Word-Battle**.  You may seem like a rabid dawg to some passers-by, but in reality (well pseudo reality) you’re just a poor, lost, and damn-near heat exhausted pooch waiting desperately for someone’s affection and attention to your contorted design predicament.  You’re not straining against the blog chains holding you back from really sinking your teeth into the matter regarding how the Bronco fans are delusional in hoping to win again after that quarterback team debacle in ’05, you’re just anxious to point out how glad you are for a collegial and truly amicable competition among ruddy youngsters sportingly making their way into the world—in that pseudo charm endearing southern disarming way you do.  That red glint in your eyes is not mirroring an evil intent to devour your team’s opponent, it’s only a color reflection of the sweater vest that the Athens Lady’s Dance Cotillion put on you to make you look even ever so much more cuter than Yoda, the real ugliest dog in the world. Your defensive retorts aren’t growling and barking at OBNUGgies in masked rage and hate for upstarts challenging your “centuries-old” heritage (again), you’re only choking on your vowels of good-natured banter because of the restrictive yet studly collar they humiliate you with flaunting every week.  Your post-replies are not pdissing on the Broncos; you’re just watering a few irrelevant ideas …to help them grow better!  You’re not routinely over at another blog site to sniff out defamatory anti-SEC homerism, you’re only sniffing butt to find out what was for dinner and if possible where to go to get some more.  That’s not the rabies-laden slobber of team fanaticism frothing from your jowls, that’s life-sustaining body fluid leaking out of your respiratorily challenged stocky frame and draining oxygen from your thought-maker.  So, try not to bite the hand that’s feeding you because we know it’s not your fault for you just being excessively proud of your team!  —and never let it be said that we didn’t never give you something you didn’t really need!   …(?)

HERE’S TO MR. CAN’TSEEMTOKEEPMYDAWGINMYPOCKETMAN… This DROOL’S for you!!

 

 

*DISCLAIMER

The information above is purely prose and does not necessarily reflect the opinion or the position of this website as it is intended only as smack, and should be taken, as with a grain of salt, as only smack.  Any trolls bloggers who feel offended or plan to retort as if this really mattered in real life have the option of leaving this blog and keeping their response s to themselves and/or to their own website.

**SB Word-Battle never made it out of the quarterfinal cut of Xbox product marketing meeting

 

Next up…                            MR.WOLFINSHEEPSCLOTHING—pack_fan

This content was not created by OBNUG and therefore may not meet our standards. On the contrary, it probably exceeds them.

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