After eight wacky weeks of BCS fun, we've reached the final rankings. Each week, I have been looking at the BCS rankings (Top Ten anyway), attempting to decipher them, and concluding how they occurred. One last time, I will be referencing the pure wisdom that exists throughout the polling process and the infallibility of all of the computer rankings. In other words, this is not to be taken too seriously. On to the logic!
1. Team: LSU Tigers (13-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 1
Reason for being ranked this high: LSU Fan #1: We're the best because we're undefeated and no one else is!
LSU Fan #2: More importantly, we're the best because we're the SEC Champs!
LSU Fan #3: More importantly still, we're the best because we won the SEC West!
Ole Miss Fan: Yeah! You guys are the best! And so are we, because the transitive property of college football states that if one team is the best in the land, that the overall talent and quality must translate to their entire conference!
Boise State Fan: So does that mean that the entire MWC is as good as the Broncos?
LSU Fan #3: No! In non-AQ conferences it's the opposite...you're only as good as New Mexico. Go away now.
LSU Fans 1-3 & Ole Miss Fan: SEC! SEC! SEC!...
Bowl: Mythical National Championship Game (MNCG) vs. Alabama
2. Team: Alabama Crimson Tide (11-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 2
Reason for being ranked this high: You know that 9-6 "field goal explosion" that happened earlier this year? Yeah, as you probably already know, it didn't count.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Most people would say something like, "LSU is undefeated and they already beat Alabama yada yada yada." Me? I say it's because they didn't pass the "eyeball test."
Bowl Game: MNCG vs. LSU
3. Team: Oklahoma State Cowboys (11-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 3
Reason for being ranked this high: Bedlam indeed! Oklahoma State destroyed a Sooner squad that was once considered the frontrunner in the race for the National Championship Game. Cowboy fans were so excited that they pulled a goalpost down onto their own heads.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Although Oklahoma State beat Oklahoma, Kansas State, Baylor, and Texas, they fell behind Alabama whose quality wins included Arkansas, Penn State, and all SEC Teams, including Ole Miss...you see, all SEC victories are big-time wins...if you don't understand, please review the LSU section above and commence "SEC" chant.
Bowl: Tortilla Bowl vs. Stanford
4. Team: Stanford Cardinal (11-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 4
Reason for being ranked this high: Stanford has the highest ranking of all Pac-12 teams, is going to a BCS Bowl, and didn't even play for their conference's championship. Chalk one up for Andrew Luck and his band of smarties.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Andrew Luck came clean this week and stated that he was snorting Smarties before the Oregon game and that's why they lost. America forgave him.
Bowl: Tortilla Bowl vs. Oklahoma State
5. Team: Oregon Ducks (11-2)
Last Week's Ranking: 9
Reason for being ranked this high: The Ducks came flew up in the rankings this week, after winning the Pac-12 Championship Game over UCLA. Some people questioned if Oregon really should have gained four spots when UCLA, a 6-6 team who just fired their coach, was able to score 31 points on them. Clearly this didn't bother the voters, however, who instead viewed the win as a "gritty" performance.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Andrew Luck may have been snorting Smarties, but Oregon's performance may have been compromised by what they were smoking.
Bowl: Pretty, Pretty Flower Bowl vs. Wisconsin
6. Team: Arkansas Razorbacks (10-2)
Last Week's Ranking: 8
Reason for being ranked this high: What has 44 thumbs, lost their last game, didn't play this week, and jumped Boise State in the BCS rankings this week? THIS TEAM!
Reason they aren't ranked higher: I was wondering about this myself. I would expect that Arkansas would be ranked #3, since they are the #3 team in the SEC West...isn't that how these things work? Therefore I'm going to assume that they're down at #6 because of "computer bias".
Bowl: Fabric of Our Lives Bowl vs. Kansas State
7. Team: Boise State Broncos (11-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 7
Reason for being ranked this high: Boise State finished the season as the highest ranked non-AQ team this year, with their only blemish being a one point loss to #18 TCU. Unfortunately, they would have needed another loss on their record if they had wanted to qualify for the Sugar Bowl this year.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: The Broncos have the audacity to play in a conference with New Mexico. How dare they!
Bowl: The "We're Not Actually a Bowl" Bowl vs. Arizona State
8. Team: Kansas State Wildcats (10-2)
Last Week's Ranking: 11
Reason for being ranked this high: Kansas State managed to secure a second place finish in the Big 12, much to the surprise of...well, pretty much everyone. They actually do have the requisite two losses necessary to play in the Sugar Bowl, but were left out by angry New Yorkers who take offense to the idea of there being a "Manhattan" in Kansas.
(We have to find a way to invite Michigan!!!)
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Most voters were surprised to find not only does K-State actually play football, but they're in an AQ conference. Who knew?
Bowl: Fabric of Our Lives Bowl vs. Arkansas
9. Team: South Carolina Gamecocks (10-2)
Last Week's Ranking: 12
Reason for being ranked this high: For the first time since Week 10, South Carolina cracked the BCS Top Ten. All it took was a bye week. With all these teams climbing in the rankings on their off weeks, I'm beginning to wonder why I haven't cracked the BCS Top Ten. Oh well, at least I did good at this.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: People have a really hard time respecting a team whose mascot is a chicken. Just sayin'.
Bowl: We Put Vikings in Our Commercials Bowl vs. Nebraska
10. Team: Wisconsin Badgers (11-2)
Last Week's Ranking: 15
Reason for being ranked this high: Sweet revenge! Wisky avenged their loss to Michigan State with a come from behind victory in the inaugural Big Ten Championship Game, earning themselves a trip to Pasadena in the process. Rumor has it that Mr. Badger, pet of OBNUG member Please Spay and Neuter Your Pets, wet himself in joy.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: No one watched the Big Ten Championship Game. Raise your hand if you even knew there was one.
Bowl: Pretty, Pretty Flower Bowl vs. Oregon
Just missed the top 10: Virginia Tech Hokies (11-2)
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Who the heck cares? They're going to the Sugar Bowl! Everyone wins!