Once upon a time...There was Cinderella (BSU), whose ugly evil stepmother (BCS) didn't like her one bit. The stepmother had her own daughters (AQ teams) and showered them with love (bias) and all things nice (AQ money, automatic bowl bids). Cinderella worked and worked and worked hard every day (blue collar effort), and then at the end of each day was only allowed to sit by for a while to watch the cinders glow in the fire (outside looking in).
A Grand Ball at the Court was to be held (popularity contest). Only a few selected guests with standing invitations(AQ status) would be allowed to attend, unless they received a rare special invite (non AQ). The stepsisters as usual were making their plans for the big dance. Cinderella, didn't even dare ask “what about me?” knowing very well what the answer would be.
Suddenly, something amazing happened. There was a burst of light and a Fairy appeared. The Fairy told Cinderella “I'm going to help get you to the Grand Ball”.”How?”asked Cinderella. The fairy laid out the plan. Cinderella would have to do everything she could to get noticed (blue turf, win,win,win &win). She would need a beautiful dress to show her off (ESPN). Prove to the people of the land (voters) that she is as worthy (SOS with a better conference) as the stepsisters, in order to get an invite. Cinderella would also need a vehicle to get to the big dance. The fairy told her she could turn a pumpkin(WAC) into a beautiful sparkling Coach (MWC) and turn a rat (Craig Thompson) into a coachman. With a flick of her wand, the Fairy made all these things come true.
The day of the Grand Ball had arrived. Cinderella had done everything asked of her and it looked like she was finally going to get a chance to meet the Prince (NCG) or one of his attractive brothers(BCS Bowls). Cinderella walked in, in all her beauty and shiny new glass slippers(her reward for success). She made quite the impression on many of the guests, including a few of the elite(OU, VT, UGA). A few of the guests (TCU, BYU, Utah) upon seeing Cinderella, decided they had better leave. Cinderella and the Prince made eye contact from across the room, but unfortunately Cinderella didn't get a chance to dance with him.
You see...The Fairy had failed to tell Cinderella until the last minute, that at the stroke of midnight, her dress would turn to rags (Mt. Network, Versus etc...), her sparkling coach would turn back into a pumpkin (MWC/WAC) and her coachman would turn back into a rat (Craig Thompson). Cinderella quickly fled the Grand Ball with only one tick left on the clock, and therefore not getting a chance to dance with the Prince. In her haste on the way out, she lost her shiny glass slipper. The stepsisters and ugly stepmother celebrated Cinderella's fate and danced through the night.