Interview with an Aztec: Five questions and a blog bet with Aztecs Killing Him

Just when it seemed like the Mountain West blogging world was as tiny and insignificant as the WAC blogging world, lo and behold we found ourselves a San Diego State site. Or, rather, a San Diego State site found us. 

Aztecs Killing Him, a site devoted to Aztec football and basketball and schadenfreude, has agreed to answer some questions on the San Diego State football team and Saturday's game against Boise State. They don't have high hopes. Bonus, AKH's main blogger to agreed to a blog bet without my having to beg. 

The Aztecs Killing Him site is an entertaining take on San Diego State sports and so named because being an Aztec fan will slowly kill you. You can't go wrong with a website that has a dedicated "Glossary of Misery."

If you're interested in reading my interview with AKH, head over to the site and watch me try to talk myself into liking kickers. It's rather awkward.

The interview

1. Describe your team's season-to-date as if you were pitching a movie. Make me emotionally invested.

Hey thanks for doing lunch, I really appreciate you giving me a meeting (sniff). So let's cut to the chase here, this movie is going to be huge, OK? It's got everything: Epic battles, stabbings, dropped passes - you name it. The protagonist is an Aztec warrior who is betrayed when his high priest joins forces with the Empire of Maize for the lure of BCS riches (sniff). I've even lined up Kevin James to play the priest, even though he'll have to gain some weight for the role.

So the warrior vows revenge and, after a few victories in minor skirmishes, gets his chance at payback (sniff). Only, instead of slaying the high priest, the warrior pisses all over himself and flees, much to the delight of the 110,000 spectators gathered in Casa Grande. The movie then ends with a climactic battle scene in The Kingdom of the Pre-Christmas Bowl Game. Here's a script - it makes more sense when you see it all in context. You can keep this copy (sniff). Oh, you have to run? Well, let me know what you think. I know this could be a hit (sniff). Get at me, bro!

2. If Boise State could pick one player from your team to come play with them, who would it be? If you could pick one Boise State player to go play for your team, who would it be? Explain.

Well, given what Casey Pachall did to your secondary, I'll give you the pick of cornerbacks Larry Parker or Leon McFadden.

We'll take a receiver. Any of 'em - I don't care. If the guy hasn't had a pass go off his facemask, he will be an upgrade. Or we can just swap terrible kickers and call it a day. Your call.

3. Pretend that your team is a collection of bowl games. What part is the Rose Bowl (strength) and what part is the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (weakness)?

I would say SDSU's offensive line is the Granddaddy of Em All. They've opened up holes for Ronnie Hillman consistently this season, and Ryan Lindley gets sacked about as often as people type "George+Wendt+nude+pics" into a search engine.

Our receivers have been the Galleryfurniture.com Bowl. They've been so wretched, I'm giving them a terrible bowl that doesn't even exist anymore.

4. Name three keys to victory for your team. Name one key to certain defeat.

Keys for victory:

1. Ronnie Hillman's ankle is 100 percent.
2. SDSU's defense doesn't start slowly like it has for most games this season.
3. Boise State's players mope around in a daze and feel sorry for themselves.

Key for certain defeat:: The game plays out like it does every time I try to imagine it.

5. On a scale of fast food restaurants, with Taco Bell being not at all and Dairy Queen being supremely, how confident are you that your team will win on Saturday?

There was a place in the town where I grew up that was housed in the building of what you could tell used to be a Taco Bell - you know, with the archways and faux adobe and such. It was called Jungle Burger - presumably because they used meat from bonobo monkeys - and had a reputation for serving the most disgusting food ever. I think it lasted about about six months before it closed down and became a used car dealership. So, yeah. I'm thinking Jungle Burger.

The blog bet

A tradition unlike any other (take that, Masters!), the OBNUG blog bet has had a tough time getting off the ground this year. After opening with two straight blog bets against Georgia and Toledo, I haven't written any since. And I have a lot of fan fiction in my head.

Thankfully, the guys at Aztecs Killing Him agreed to a blog bet for this week's game. The stakes are the same as always: Winning team's blog gets a free post on losing team's blog.

Good luck to Aztecs Killing Him and the San Diego State football team, and I do not mean that at all.

Your turn

What are your thoughts on hearing about the game from a SDSU perspective? Are the Aztec receivers worse than you thought? See any way that SDSU pulls the upset on Saturday? Share your thoughts in the comments.