The bet was made and accepted, and now the Frogs O' War will collect on that blog bet thank you kindly. Thank you OBNUG for your humor and good sportsmanship leading up to this game. I did some research into your previous winning blog bets and think I'm ready to respond in kind. Brace yourself for The Raid on Smurf Village.
Location: Frogs O' War War Room. Double the War of any other War Room.
Scene: The year is 2010. Andy Dalton, Superfrog, The Purple Wimple and HawkeyedFrog are around a large table with a map of Bronco Stadium spread out in front of them. Casey Pacahll is off to the side playing NCAA Football 2011 on a big-screen TV to the side.
Superfrog: As you are all aware, gentlemen, fate has conspired to throw us into battle once more with Boise State.
Dalton: Stick with the game plan! Establish the run, don't make mistakes!
Purple Wimple: Wow, they've really been drilling that into him since the Fiesta Bowl. Is he going to be all right?
HawkeyedFrog: He's fine. Yes, Boise is going to be coming to our house in 2011 right after Andy graduates. It'll be rough, but at least we'll have the home field to support us.
Superfrog: I've spoken with the Mountain West and convinced them to move the game to Boise instead.
*Gasps and wailing break out from HawkeyedFrog and Dalton, Wimple is resolute, Pachall isn't paying attention*
Purple Wimple: With all due respect sir, travelling to Boise? The home of the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? Without Andy, that's a suicide mission.
Dalton: WATCH THE TRICK PLAY!
Purple Wimple: You're sure he's going to be all right, Hawkeye?
HawkeyedFrog: He's fine. Superfrog, Sir, I don't have any issue with playing Boise at Boise, but it's our home game. Why make things more difficult on ourselves?
Superfrog: They came into our house in the Fort Worth Bowl and walked out a winner, Hawkeye. You were there. You felt that sadness and despair. And if we only play Boise one more time then that's where it needs to be. Then I can get them all into my sack and...
Dalton: No sacks! No interceptions! Take what the defense gives you
Pachall: That's good stuff Andy, but I'm playing the game now on NCAA Football 2011 and I think we'll just go deep every time.
Dalton: Going deep against Boise is asking for trouble. Dink and dunk. Manage the game.
Purple Wimple: He's just a robot since the Fiesta Bowl, are we sure he's going to be okay to go this season? He's a senior and this should be his best work.
HawkeyedFrog: He's fine, those are all just the points that Patterson told him in calm, soothing tones to keep in mind after the game. After all that, there's no way he'll lose again. He could even make the Cincinnati Bengals decent.
Superfrog: Nobody's that good. Though it would be fun to humiliate Carson Palmer one more time. But no, gentlemen. We will go to Boise and we will take everything they care about. We will take their home winning streak. We will take their regular season home winning streak. We will take their home conference winning streak. We will take their BCS aspirations and dash them. We will take Kellen Moore and all of the smurfs and boil them into gold and Chris Petersen will...
Dalton: FAKE! COVER THE FAKE! WE'RE THE BETTER TEAM! ROSE BOWL 2011!
Purple Wimple: Calm down, Andy, it's okay. Did you say something about gold, Superfrog?
Superfrog: No, certainly not.
HawkeyedFrog: All right, listen Superfrog. I get that you want Boise to suffer, but they're joining our conference, we'll be playing them every year. They're not really evil, they're like the Shelbyville to our Springfield. You know, our discipline problems explain why their football time beats ours about half the time. Also they sleep with their cousins.
Pachall: *snickers, continues playing NCAA football- the score on the TV is now TCU 84, BSU 17*
Purple Wimple: Casey, you're not taking this Boise issue seriously at all. You can't just run four verticals on Boise all day. Seventy yard completions just don't happen that way against a team that good. Dalton will become the school's wins leader this season and even he couldn't beat Boise deep.
Dalton: DON'T THROW INTO DOUBLE COVERAGE ANDY!
Superfrog: To answer your question Hawkeye, we have some very powerful friends who are willing to make it worth our while conference wise if we crush Boise. And we will crush them and take their smurfberries and...
Purple Wimple: Worth our while conference wise... You mean the Big East?
Superfrog: Perhaps at first. Let's just say there are coaches with influence who would like for us to insure Boise State doesn't make it back to the Fiesta Bowl.
*Wimple and Superfrog both wince at the mention of Fiesta Bowl, expecting an outburst from Dalton*
Dalton, a wide smile breaking across his face: Not making it back to the Fiesta Bowl? We'll make sure they don't sniff the BCS. We'll run the table and go to the Rose Bowl this year, we'll keep undefeated Boise out with our higher rank, since it's not really like they could blow it with Brotzman kicking, right? Then next year I'll be gone, but Casey will stick to the game plan of conservative runs, short passing and game management and we'll beat the Broncos the TCU way.
Purple Wimple: Andy, you're okay!
HawkeyedFrog: Told you.
Superfrog: And if the game is close? How do we make sure that if we're trading touchdowns that we keep the pressure on Boise? A conservative coach like Patterson wouldn't do anything crazy enough to put us over the top.
Dalton: That's where you're wrong. We have a secret weapon.
HawkeyedFrog: You mean like a trick play? Petersen knows all of them?
Dalton: TRICK PLAY! *he twitches before regaining his composure* No. Something that Bronco Nation has no idea about.
Purple Wimple: How can you be sure?
Dalton: You know those stories where they comment on Patterson pulling his pants up all the time?
HawkeyedFrog: Of course, it's just one of his ticks.
Dalton: No, that's just what we want you to think. The truth is, because their weight keeps pulling them down.
Superfrog: The weight of his pants?
Dalton: No, friend Superfrog. The weight of his balls of steel drags the pants down and forces him to readjust.
HawkeyedFrog: My God. You mean...
Dalton: Like this-
*The group as a whole chuckles menacingly, the score on Pachall's NCAA Football 2011 game now reads TCU 121, BSU 24*
Dalton: So Superfrog will have his vengeance, Casey will stick to the game plan, and the blue menace will be bested once and for all, before we go off to our new home.
*Exit Dalton, HawkeyedFrog and Purple Wimple, each picking up a Rose on the way out the door*
*Pachall looks after them, then back to his game screen, the score has gone final.*
Pachall: Screw that, I'm going deep.
*Exit Casey Pachall*
Superfrog: Excellent, excellent. These frogs are the perfect instruments of my revenge. *slowly he removes his mascot's head*
: I HAVE YOU NOW, SMURFS!