Each week, I am continuing to take a look at the BCS rankings (Top Ten anyway), attempting to decipher them, and concluding how they occurred. Clearly, I will be referencing the pure wisdom that exists throughout the polling process and the infallibility of all of the computer rankings. In other words, this is not to be taken too seriously. On to the logic!
1. Team: LSU Tigers (8-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 1
Reason for being ranked this high: The Tigers remain one of two undefeated teams in the SEC. They beat the Auburn "Other Tigers" quite easily this week...being that the "Other Tigers" also reside in the magical SEC West, and therefore are at least as good as the 49ers during the Montana era, that means that the "Better Tigers" must be the best team ever to play football. Got it?
2. Team: Alabama Crimson Tide (8-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 2
Reason for being ranked this high: The Crimson Tide are the other undefeated team in the SEC. They beat Tennessee this week, a school with a big stadium, lots of football tradition, and of course "SEC Speed." (Note: SEC Speed is not an amphetamine.)
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Tennessee plays in the Eastern division of the SEC. Therefore they only play at the level of the Boomer Esiason led Cincinnati Bengals (the "OtherOther Tigers?) and so for now the Tide should not be put at the same level as LSU. Sorry 'Bama fans.
3. Team: Oklahoma State Cowboys (7-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 4
Reason for being ranked this high: The Cowboys benefited from Oklahoma's loss to Texas Tech and moved up a spot this week after beating Missouri (Other other other Tigers) handily. Missouri, of course, must be pretty good, since they are a future SEC team...(insert NFL team comparison here).
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Do I really have to explain this one? (Hint: The Big 12 is not the...)
4. Team: Boise State Broncos (7-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 5
Reason for being ranked this high: This is definitely a mistake. The Broncos played a tight game against Air Force, another non-AQ (i.e. "bad") team from the Mountain West. Any other "top ten" team should have won 110-3 (singular field goals are acceptable). Someone at the BCS is getting fired for this one.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Um, I said someone is getting fired for ranking them too high already!
5. Team: Clemson Tigers (6-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 7
Reason for being ranked this high: Clemson (The "Other other other other Tigers") remains undefeated, racking up another solid win against North Carolina. They are clearly the class of the ACC this year.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Higher than 5? Really? You expected more teams ranked ahead of them to lose? Aren't two enough? The BCS voters also remain unconvinced they won't lose to Wake Forest somehow.
6. Team: Stanford Cardinal (7-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 8
Reason for being ranked this high: The Cardinal remain undefeated and beat a Washington team that was on the fringe of respectability this year. Andrew Luck is so beloved by the college football world that there are plans to cryogenically freeze him until such a time arrives that his football prowess can save humanity.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Stanford is a school for "nerds"...while this may make them good at revenge, it does not make them good at football. This has been proven scientifically (not by the same scientists trying to freeze Andrew Luck...obviously).
7. Team: Oregon Ducks (6-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 10
Reason for being ranked this high: The Ducks moved up a whopping three spots this week, partially due to a 45-2 shellacking of Colorado. Also, Phil Knight gave several Harris Poll voters a pair of sneakers and winked at them.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Punishment for allowing Colorado to get a safety. That should never happen to anybody.
8. Team: Kansas State Wildcats (7-0)
Last Week's Ranking: 11
Reason for being ranked this high: The Wildcats remain undefeated and are the only other Big 12 team apart from Oklahoma State that can claim this.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: They lose a couple of points in the computer polls up front, just based on the fact that they are Kansas State. The same theory also applies to all of the Big East.
9. Team: Oklahoma Sooners (6-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 3
Reason for being ranked this high: The Sooners remain in the Top Ten, despite their shocking loss to Texas Tech. True, it was a bad loss, but they are certainly more deserving of this spot than, say, Houston...right?
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Well if someone (I'm looking at you, Colley Matrix computer rankings) hadn't messed up and put Boise State up there at number 4, maybe Oklahoma would be higher!
10. Team: Arkansas Razorbacks (6-1)
Last Week's Ranking: 9
Reason for being ranked this high: The Razorbacks are the third best team in the SEC West, which, as noted above, is a magical place (think Narnia). So even though they just squeaked by Ole Miss, a team that looks awful on paper, it's important to remember that the SEC West has its own rules regarding time, space, and football and therefore Arkansas remains in the Top Ten.
Reason they aren't ranked higher: Oklahoma was the preseason favorite for many, so Arkansas remains behind them...after all, what's more valid than preseason rankings? I know I can't think of anything!
Just missed the top 10: Michigan State Spartans (6-1)
Reason they aren't ranked higher: The win over Wisconsin is considered fluky by most voters due to the fact that the Spartans were wearing green jerseys on a green field.