I hadn't been to a Bronco Basketball game yet this year before last Saturday night. I wasn't all that sold on the "We Play for You Ads" and it took awhile to recover from Bronco Football. My wife was busy last Saturday night, I had only 3 kids that were going to be home, I heard about the $35.00 promotion Family 4 night promotion, and I thought, "what the heck?" After the Jump, you can hear how it went.... ( I always wanted to say, "after the jump, just like a real poster).
5:30: Me to kids- Want to go to the Bronco/Vandal Basket ball Game?
5:31: Kids- Ehhh, whatever.
5:45: Me- C'mon, it will be fun. It's the Vandals, we hate the Vandals. There are going to be more than 2500 people there, really.
5:46: Kids- Eh. Ok. (Whisper- at least we will get a Hot Dog, otherwise, we might have to eat cold cereal, chances are good Dad won't feed us. . .)
6:05: Leave for Downtown.
6:10 to 6:45: Referee kids touching each other in the backseat.
6:45-6:53: Uncomfortable silence in the car.
6:54: Park in Lincoln Garage. Follow apparent student driver who stops his Suburban at every compact spot before deciding to move on. Well under the garage 5 mph limit.
6:56-7:01: Hustling kids to TBA. (Double meaning there)
7:02: Line up in ticket line with 800 or so of my closest friends, and some Vandals too.
7:23: Pay for my Bronco family plan at one of four ticket windows. Harried clerks act like they aren't used to actually working. Line behind me still uncomfortably long as we make our way in entrance 1.
7:26: Sit in our Mezzanine seats. Not bad seats. Way too many Vandals around. It is kind of like lice. I know they exist, but it makes me uncomfortable when I actually see first hand evidence of their existence, especially in close proximity. I feel like scratching, for some reason. 11:02 to go in the first half. Broncos are off to a bit of a slow start, apparently. Noonan hits a 3 to cut it to 11. It's a big game at home, I'm sure they will make a run, crap, turnover, 3 by a Vandal with huge hair. Crap, more turnovers, horrible defense, 3s are raining from the
Silver and Black and Gold. (Where is the Silver, anyway?)
7:48: With 3:00 to go in the first half, down by 22. The I-D-A-H-O chant is taking a toll on my psyche. We decide to go redeem our hot dog and sprite coupons, get a jump on the crowd, you know.
7:50: Walk by several shuttered concession stands. I hear old western music playing in the background, and papers floating around in the wind, but it is probably just in my head.
7:51: Restrooms are better than the East side of the Football stadium. No horse troughs to do your business in, just standard urinals.
7:52: Get in line behind 9 other groups.
8:02: The same person is standing at the front of the line. The server has apparently never seen cups before, especially those lid thingies.
8:10: 3 spots away. A lot of stinkin' Vandals around. Nobody says "BOISE!!!!!!!!!" to be answered by "STATE!!!!!!!" The crowd is getting a little unruly. The line reaches back 50 yards behind us. Nobody can get through the aisle way because the concession stands are conveniently located so as to block as much of the through way as possible.
8:12: I send one of my kids to buy candy coated nuts so we don't perish in line.
8:13: Daughter back with the nuts. I have to arm wrestle her for the change from a 20. No score on the Bronco vision TVs, but it sounds like the Broncos are making a bucket or two. I send my son to get a score, down by 18 still. Crap.
8:15: Person in front of us orders Nachos. Bad mistake. Kid can't figure out where Nacho tray is, or gloves, or how many nachos go in the tray. Several people who have redeemed their family passes are standing aside still waiting for Hot Dogs. Apparently, the fact that Hot Dogs need to be heated escaped the notice of the concession folks.
8:19: We redeem our coupon, and actually get our drinks. "It will be a minute on hot dogs."
8:28: Our Hot Dogs arrive. We quickly grab them, before someone else can. The remaining line is turning mobbish. No onions on mine, I don't care.
8:31: Back to our seats. 9:28 to go in the game. Broncos down by 22.
8:32-8:39: Hot dogs eaten. I pronounce that if they don't cut it to 15 with 5 minutes to go, we are leaving.
8:46: 5 minutes to go. Broncos still down 22. We leave. We aren't the only ones. I have watched a total of 13 minutes of game, and seen at least that many Bronco turnovers.
9:09: On postgame show, I hear GG say: "We are sorry we let you down. . . . . We actually won the second half by two, if you want to look at it that way."
I don't want to look at it that way.
Are you kidding me?
Greg Graham and the Bronco Basketball team, you are dead to me until GG is gone. There is nothing more to say. At some point, it starts to get a little funny, then it just gets pathetic. I'm afraid we are there.