Public Enemy #1: The case for Graham Watson

Boise State football's Public Enemy #1 is a coordinated effort by OBNUG to decide which loathsome individual has the distinct privilege of us making fun of him (or her!) all year. Previously: Colin Kaepernick, Robb Akey, John Swofford. Today: Graham Watson. Monday: Decision time.

I will never doubt Graham Watson again.

And my word is as good as Graham Watson's.

ESPN's non-BCS, but mostly Notre Dame, blogger has what some might call a little bit of a lying problem. Also, a grammar/punctuation problem, a facts problem, a remembering who's in whose conference problem, and a common sense problem. But other than that, she's Ted Miller with a geri-curl.

While her bad writing and bad reporting are cause for much uproarious laughter among the OBNUG faithful, I'm not nominating her for Public Enemy #1 on that alone. What do you think this is? An AP English blog? Not implicitly. Our dear old Graham Cracker gets the nom for the one thing she does best, even when she claims she'll never do it again: doubting Boise State.

The now-infamous words I alluded to in the open were uttered in a Graham Watson headline last December:

I'll never doubt Boise State again

One week later, guess what she was doing? Laughing at Marmaduke, most likely, and giving us this:

Prediction: SAN DIEGO CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA: TCU 31, Boise State 20

In essence, it was a microcosm of her entire first year of non-BCS coverage. She went from effusive praise of Boise State on Mondays to non-commital game predictions on Fridays. She sang the praises of seemingly every Boise State opponent in the order they appeared on the schedule. "Watch out for Hawaii." "Don't sleep on LaTech." "I love Nevada more than I love House of Payne." It was a rollercoaster ride of journalism flip-flopping, like some horrible mix of Disneyland's tea cups, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to Hell, and the monorail, with a three-year-old puking on your feet and your $20 Mickey Mouse ears causing Asian tourists to point, stare, and take pictures. When does it end? And can we stop for churros?

Watson's 2008 was a year to remember, if only because there was a new post every week not letting me forget how bad all the other posts were. If Watson were to publish a Greatest Hits anthology, might I propose she include some of these:

• Picking Fresno State to win the WAC because that seemed like what everyone else was doing
  
• Dropping the Broncos four spots in her power rankings after they win by 42 points
• Picking Oregon over BSU, then gushing over BSU for an entire liveblog, then pretending like the first thing never happened
• The largest live chat train wreck ever

Going back through her litany of mistakes, errors, irrational musings, and overshares, I think it is pretty obvious why she is being nominated for Public Enemy #1. There are few people in the Boise State universe with the unique opportunity she has of shaping the way that thousands of people see the Broncos on a daily basis. She is one of the few who has a regular forum for Boise State talk. She works for the largest sports entity in the world.

And from a Bronco fan's perspective, she blows it.

Her opinions are mostly wrong. Her facts are mostly made up. She makes a habit out of going back on her word and saying things she promised she'd never say. Reading her blog is like going back in time ... when everyone was illiterate ... and on a different planet. I guess I could just not read it. But then my life would be happy, and that scares me.

Whether knowingly or not, the Grahamaphone makes a point of belittling, slighting, and demeaning the Broncos on a regular basis.

At least she's dependable. That much has never been in doubt.

For her crimes against Bronco Nation in 2008 and the many more she's sure to commit in 2009, Graham Watson is being nominated for OBNUG's Public Enemy #1. It simply had to be done.