Fightin' Words
by Drew Roberts on Dec 4, 2009 1:00 PM PST
23 comments
This week's opponent, the New Mexico State Aggies, have a rich tradition of losing, Bill Gates rich. Seriously, they haven't been to a bowl game since JFK was in office. But why do the Aggies struggle so mightily on the field? Well, I put all of OBNUG's resources into analyzing the Aggies' dire situation and, in a "Eureka moment", found the culprit of their futility: the fight song. Let's break down the lyrics of their depressing anthem and see if we can get to the heart of the problem, shall we?
Aggies, Oh Aggies
Try to recite this first line without having Barry Manilow's Mandy popping into your head.
The hills send back the cry
That's called an echo...not the first thing you want to hear in a football stadium.
We're here to do or die
Those are the only two options? Must've been a lot of fatalities after losing to San José State on Saturday.
Aggies, Oh Aggies
...you came and you gave without takin'...
We'll win this game or know the reason why
The reason why? The ghost of Hal Mumme.
And when we win this game
I think the word you're looking for is "if".
We'll buy a keg of booze
Can we see your collective IDs?
And we'll drink to the Aggies
Just don't take a shot every time the opponent scores...very bad for the liver.
Till we wobble in our shoes
Friends don't let friends party in Las Cruces.
A-G-G-I-E-S
This part is a public service benefitting the adult literacy program.
Aggies, Aggies, go Aggies
Aggies aggies aggies aggies...
Aggies, Oh Aggies
...well you kissed me and stopped me from shakin'...
The hills send back the cry
The hills were angry that day, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...
We're here to do or die
The latter, if you don't mind.
Aggies, Oh Aggies
...but I sent you away, Oh Aggies...
We'll win this game or know the reason why!
More reasons? Okay—off the top of my head—recruiting, coaching, facilities, players, offensive and defensive schemes, conference, and uh...uniforms.
And...there you have it. The most unintentionally uninspiring tune since Ronnie James Dio's Holy Diver. My advice: take all the Aggie financial resources and hire the firm that wrote this stirring ditty.
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Now I’ve got “Mandy” stuck in my head, just playing on a loop. And yes, that’s quite possibly the worst fight song. Ever.
"I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that."
-Jerry Rice
by BoscoBronco on Dec 4, 2009 1:11 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Now that's funny.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if every BSU fan brought a white towel and wore it around their neck Saturday? I think even the NMS team would crack up.
Once again, Priceless!
Well played good sir!
by DuckCountryBSUFan on Dec 4, 2009 1:26 PM PST reply actions
Hilarious.
Funny, your allusion to “Mandy” made me thick of the Simpson parody there of.
“Oh Margie, you came and you brought me a turkey, on your vacation from worky…”
In conclusion: The Simpsons = Satirical Gold, NMSU = worst fight song ever
Sounds like it was written as part of a 12 step program gone mad
“know the reason why”-clearly refers to a blackout. A keg of booze-does this refer to a keg of grain spirits; potentially fatal alcohol overdose. “to do or die” appears to be a paraphrase of the Serenity Prayer as done by a suicidal Buddhist monk. Very bizarre to find this in Logan Utah where even white bread asks itself to loosen up. The name Aggies itself carries a certain self-flagellating patina that, combined with this dirge like anthem and the puritanical starkness of the navy-blue and white uniforms and the unimaginative logo(U with the name of the school etched into it-must;ve taken all of 3 minutes for their freshmen graphic arts class to come up with that) vreates a surpassing sense of despair and hoplessness. The bovine mascot doesnt help; the species exists to be milked, forcibly inseminated following ruthless sperm extraction, slaughtered, devoured outright with the offal rendered into commodities such as glue and wallpaper paste. Which sums up Saturday.
tvmunson
oooops I was thinking of Utah State
perhaps there is a little New Mexico in me too. No they have that hallucinatory giant cowboy “gaucho”. Oh well most of what I wrote applies. Monochromatic crimson. Man I am embarassed.
tvmunson
casket you're right. I fell into a time/space warp
A keg of booze hasnt been consumed In logan since it was founded. Rats. I’ll have to save that for next year. 12 step program does seem right for Las cruces. How many aggies teams are there_we palyed 3 this year. Next to bulldogs it has to be biggest name.
tvmunson
Tigers
I count 5 tigers in FBS alone:
Missouri
LSU
Memphis
Clemson
Auburn
Crazy that Aggies and Bulldogs take up almost half the WAC.
Dont forget Princeton who played the 1st fb game
and whose orange and black socks inspired both the name and the idea of a uniform. I guess they arent FBS. While I’m here I gotta say teams/fans like NMSU’s make me a litlle wistful. Take last night’s game in Ore,.It was electric; even OSU’s qb,while dissapointed, mentioned how great the atmosphere was. Now imagine New Mex;imagine being on the team, cheerleader, band or the parents of anyone of them.I saw Aggies paly Nevada and all you could here were these pathetic squeaks of the cheerleading squad trying to sound like something-and they never gave up. I was at C of I in ’71 and for our homecoming game we ahd the Caldwell high drill team perform. Band was supposed to be there but they blew it off. so at halftime the team marched silently around while we sat there silently. It was eerie sorta like the atmosphere in Las Cruces. Must be tough for the kids maybe not the band-they seem to hav efun.
tvmunson
Brilliant!
"Well, we'll just have to get to know each other a little better then. I like Ferris wheels, college football, and anything that goes more than 200 miles an hour."
i never paid attention to the Boise state song
but it sitnks. My all time most hated though and i never thought anyone would use it is Cat Stevens’"If you want to be " whatever.. I hated him before he became Yusuf. Minnie Driver’s “Loving you” is horrible but in he rcase you cant believe it wa sserious if it wa shers i sfrist although being dead I guess we could give her a break
tvmunson
yeh who could listen to that
I think they should paly it for condemned men ove rand over-they’d plead for death
tvmunson
A little more salt in the wound (sorry for being technical)...
NMSU hasn’t been to a bowl game since Eisnerhower was in office. Kennedy wasn’t in office ’til 1961 (I guess you can say he was president-elect).
I love the colors Orange and Blue. Go Broncos!!! Go Titans!!! BAD WORD Gators!!!
Rec'd
That was great! But I must say that I love Holy Diver. That video is terrible, but the Killswitch Engage version of the song is awesome. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it playing before in Bronco Stadium during warm-ups or one of the spring games too.
Rec'd
That was awesome.
I am the BSU Guru. I know everything and anything about BSU, just ask me. Although I may need a minute…and an internet connection.
Nothing sticks in your head like Mandy
Thanks FFBSU. If you were Mikrino, I would have to hate you.
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