The Tulsa Golden Hurricane anagram roster

Not nearly as good as UC Davis.

Now, let’s discuss the All-Ugly Team. There’s some all americans on Tulsa. I’m looking at you Tennis Caldron.

Maybe on of the best looking Kentucky waterfalls I have ever seen.

is not very happy as he didn’t get the role to play “Major White.”

Man, Hobos Dandruff picture looks like a mugshot. They need to fire whatever photographer took that picture.

James Bond Underwear

So that’s like…a Jewish guy who runs a bail-bond place? AWESOME!

That’s weird. I just went to the doctor for an ingrown sailor last week.

Thanks for not doing Shavodrick Beaver’s anagram. Seems like it woulda been NC-17

Whilst traveling through a dark and eery forest, I came upon a troop of Allergenic Geckos. One of them, the tallest of the bunch, held in his hands, a Rock Diary. He explained that it was a tribute to all rocks of the land. He went on to tell me that every rock had it own story and he took the time and energy to stop at every rock and get their biography. I asked how on earth he was able to stop and talk to every rock. He simply stated. “Uh chemicals.” To which I exclaimed, “You Racy Seals, how dare you!”

 I abruptly left the gaggle of geckos and continued on my journey. It wasn’t long before I stumble upon a fiery Tennis Caldron. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, until I saw emblazoned on the side, the words, Tennis Caldron. Standing next to the bubbling tennis ball stew was a short squatty little man wearing a Banal Neck Quilt. He told me his name was Nerd Putty. I asked him what the Tennis Caldron was for, and he explained to me that all the used tennis balls of the world get shipped to him for destruction.

I found this very interesting, and asked him why he was asked to destroy all the world’s used tennis balls. He told me that if all the world’s tennis balls weren’t destroyed then the legendary villian, Major White, would return to the world through Roger Federer and claim the planet as his own. Understanding the importance of sending all the world’s tennis balls to the Tennis Caldron, I left the the little man with one tidbit of advice, “Cauldron is misspelled.”, I said. “Leave me alone!” He said vehemently. “LEAVE, before I sprinkle you with Hobos Dandruff!”, he shouted. Knowing the effects of the dreadful Hobos Dandruff, I gathered my things and left in a flash.

After but a short while I happened upon something I had never been witness to before, the famous Ingrown Sailors. Legend has it the these brave and fearless sailors traveled far across the sea, braving all the elements to reach their ancestral burial ground. Once they arrived the rooted out all the creatures who had been squatting on their sacred land. There they had lived ever since, and as a result, they had been become ingrown, never to leave their consecrated land. Not wanting to be mistaken for a squatter, I quickly traveled through without stopping.

But before I could reach the outer limits of the burial ground, I was stopped by a Renal Tenant. Renal Tenants are onery little parasites who stop unsuspecting travelers and try to dupe them by offering a Well Criteria test. Basically they offer free physical exams with the intent of taking up residence in your kidneys. Hence the name, Renal Tenant. Knowing the wicked ways of the Renal Tenant, I always travel with the proper antidote, Bond Underwear. I never leave home without them you see. Bond Underwear is a clear bodysuit that is hermetically sealed to your skin. Nothing, not even a Renal Tenant can penetrate it. I once happened upon a swarm of Motel Jackets, a bloodthirsty type of yellow jacket from India, and even they could not get past my Bond Underwear. Knowing I was safe I simply stalked right past the Renal Tenant with no worry at all.

Once again on the trail, I was in need of some rest so I stopped at the next place along the road. The sign read, Wild Mama Jails. I recognized the name as the famous BBQ eatery from back home, and I knew I could rest here. What has made Wild Mama Jails so famous is there world renowned, Ornate Johns. If ever there were a place I would prefer to relieve myself, it would be here. Cast in pure 24 karat gold, the urinals at Wild Mama Jails were known the world over. So after a quick bite to eat and stop at the Ornate Johns, I was on my way.

On down the road I was and again my trip was interrupted, this time by a Torah Bondsman. The Rabbi was on the hunt for a Renal Tenant who was on the lam. I described the one I had passed along the way. He said that was the one he was in pursuit of. I told him where I had seen him last and he left me at once. Almost immediately afterwards I came upon the Maybe Rink. The Maybe Rink had become well known for its constant temperature of 38 degrees. It was never quite cold enough there for ice hockey. And so the story goes when the kids ask if the rink is ready for play, the reply is always, “Maybe.” Once there was a Killer Whale in the pond that made up the rink. He had a most horrible toothache. But no one in the nearby village had a pair of Orca Pliers, so he had to live his entire life with the toothache. He swore on his tooth the the temperature there would never go lower than 38 degrees since no one ever tired to help him. And since that day it never had.

My trip was just about over. I had almost reached my destination. But with all the interruptions along the way I was worried I would not make it in time. I stopped in at a Clearly Cash to cash a post-dated check, so I would have some money for my trip. I never do that, no really. As I approached my destination I came upon the famous clown, Silly Heckles. He was laughing and carrying on. I told him where I intended to go this Wednesday night. He let out a loud cackle and slapped his own knee. And then he told me, “By golly, you’ve missed it!”
I was askant. I asked him if he was sure of it. He said he was, and asked which way I had come. I told him I took the shortcut through Darkwood Forest. He exclaimed, “Thats it! Don’t you know that time speeds up when you travel through the forest?” I was immediately downcast. I had missed my chance to see my glorious team. As I approached the stadium I could see the scoreboard showing the final score.
It read; Broncos 48, Golden Hurricane 20.