Southern Miss' stadium is compensating for something

Since when did Dustin Lapray start writing copy for the Southern Miss Golden Eagles?

M. M. Roberts Stadium, affectionately known as "The Rock," rises from the rolling hills of Southern Mississippi like a fortress. Reaching to the Heavens, it beckons you to enter and dares you to conquer it.

Here autumn afternoons entertwine with fierce gridiron action and legends, such as Brett Favre and Ray Guy have taken the field. Listen carefully, you can almost hear in the distance...

"It's Saturday at... The Rock!"
We wonder how well that atmosphere will come across on the CBS College Sports Network cameras.

Apart from the obvious ode to some romance novel we've never read or heard of, this description of the Golden Eagles' stadium has a few issues as far as we're concerned.

• "...the rolling hills of Southern Mississippi..." We did not know that Southern Mississippi had rolling hills. We picture Southern Mississippi to be marshland or the habitat for Swamp Thing.


• "Reaching to the heavens..." By "heavens," might they mean "1,100 feet above sea level"?


• "...entertwine..." This is not a word.


• "...legends such as Brett Favre and Ray Guy..." Probably could have just left it at just "Brett Favre."


• "It's Saturday at... The Rock!" What happens if Southern Miss plays a Friday night game or a Thursday night game? Does the stadium only beckon on weekends? We imagine there is a different script for weekday events like the women's soccer practice.

Flowery descriptions aside, the Hattiesburg stadium might end up posing some problems for the Broncos, if for no other reason than that BSU won't have a home crowd behind them. Boise State has already conquered the intimidating atmosphere at Autzen, so being in a pressure cooker halfway across the country shouldn't be nearly as daunting.

One thing's for sure is that Dustin Lapray will feel more at home.

Read more: Southern Miss the Rock [Eagles' Nest]