Viewer's guide to Week One: sponsored by Cheetos

College football season is here, which means we can at last start shirking responsibilities around the house, eating dinner in the living room, and going an entire day wearing sweat pants. Life is good again.

With so much football action over the next few days, we felt the need to create a viewer's guide to sort it all out. Here are the games, shows, and foods we found most important.

Weekend snack of choice: Cheetos.
Nothing says unhealthy like an artificially-flavored orange cheese puff.

Thursday Night

NC State @ South Carolina. 6:00pm ESPN.
Oregon State @ Stanford. 7:00pm ESPN2
Get your first glimpse of football with an SEC matchup between the Wolfpack and Gamecocks. Then, about 30 minutes later after neither team has got a first down, switch over to ESPN2 for some much more exciting Pac-10 football. Bonus: Jim Harbaugh might make a guarantee!

Friday Night

SMU at Rice 6:00pm ESPN
New SMU head coach June Jones makes his debut for the Mustangs. Do you think the ESPN announcers will mention it?

Saturday

Bowling Green @ Pittsburgh 10:00am ESPNU
Boise State faces Bowling Green two weeks from now. Hope for mild ankle sprains that take three to four weeks for recovery.

Utah @ Michigan 1:30 ABC
Appalachian State vs. LSU 3:00pm ESPN
Can App State pull another upset? Can Michigan avoid one?

Mississippi State @ LaTech 4:45 ESPN2
Giant SEC defenders look forward to meeting Taylor Bennett.

Bronco Sports Extra 6:00pm KTVB, channel 7
Idaho State @ Boise State 7:00pm KTVB, channel 7
David Augusto has been waiting for this moment all summer.

Washington @ Oregon 8:30 FSN
An Oregon win would help Boise State's strength of schedule. But it's so hard to root for neon yellow!

In case of a blowout: The Unit reruns on CBS.

For our readers who don't like football: Two Weeks Notice on AMC.