Dear Peak Broadcasting,
Where do we even begin? I guess first off, let us wish you a happy Monday, or as Bronco fans have come to know it, the 10-day anniversary of the day you were supposed to decide on a radio team. Hope you're having a great day doing whatever it is that you do at Peak headquarters, which we imagine includes sitting around with your thumbs up your noses, making Darth Vader voices into the audio equipment, and trying to figure out how you can convince Gene Bleymaier to dissolve Paul J's pension. Best leave by 3:30 so you can beat the traffic!
Oh, by the way, tomorrow is July 1, which usually only means turning a page on your giant Garfield wall calendar but actually has a fair amount of significance this year. Starting tomorrow, you are the official home of Boise State football and basketball.
Kind of sneaked up on you, didn't it? Well, it is not always easy to program reminders into your company-issued smartphone (yes, the one that plays Bejeweled 2). Tomorrow is the first day of your governance of BSU radio, and from the looks of things, you couldn't be more unprepared.
Quite frankly, we are disappointed. When you won the Boise State contract a few months back, we had tangible excitement over what you could bring to the broadcast. Boise State football is a growing entity, and we felt that your winning the contract could help usher in a new era of BSU media.
Certainly, that was what needed to happen. The way that local legend Paul J. Schneider was unceremoniously dumped opened wide the doors of criticism and anger, and it placed extra responsibility on you to make Bronco fans forget the past and move into the Peak Broadcasting future. Mission not accomplished.
That future, by the way, looks pretty awful. Based on the events of the past 14 days, you have shown yourselves rather incapable of doing anything right, and Boise State fans have no choice but to worry about having this radio contract in your hands. We know you've lost a candidate to another school. We know you are bad with deadlines. If all this holds true, your football broadcasts will begin in the second quarter of the game and will feature the riveting radio duo of Peak general manager Kevin Godwin and a BSU communication major doing work study. Godwin: "The kicker put the ball through the uprights. He gets some points for that!" Student: "You told me I wouldn't have to talk."
How you'll recover from this is anyone's guess. A good place to start would be naming a radio team. As Idaho Radio News pointed out, if you chose someone today, that person would have about one month to gain an expertise on Boise State athletics, develop chemistry with a play-by-play partner, and discover the wonders of the Fanci Freez. Expediency is an issue, but quality and name recognition are just as important. Boise State fans are expecting something big, which your track record suggests may be a Nigerian child expecting an African-American Santa to come down the chimney. A let-down is almost certainly inevitable.
Our advice: turn off Days of Our Lives, find whoever it was that put your contract pitch together (she obviously knows what she's doing), have her teach you Organizational Management 101, and then start acting like you deserve to be the home of Boise State football. It's not too late to find a qualified candidate who will do an excellent job. It is, however, too late to have Bronco fans ever trust you again.