Dear Blue Turf guy,

We are sorry to hear about your recent legal troubles involving copyright infringement, idea mongering, and trademark pillaging. The lawsuit from Boise State in regards to your assault on their intellectual, turf-y property is bad news for you, but it is also hard on all of us trying to ride the coattails of Boise State's success. You have made the knock-off, Boise State curio market that much harder for the rest of us.

When Boise State University cracked down on your operation, they did so in such a swift, decisive way that we are scared to even speak the name Lyle Smith Field without first receiving written authorization from a BSU employee. Take a look at the language used in their lawsuit:

The lawsuit said the school "enjoys substantial trademark and trade dress rights arising from its long and continuous usage of words, color and imagery of blue turf to identify and promote the goods and services at and through Boise State University." (Blue Turf's) unlicensed usage "constitutes unfair and unlawful exploitation of Boise State University's reputation and goodwill," the lawsuit said.

The lawsuit said Blue Turf Towels owner David James Armstrong, after "notice and objections" from the university, continued to sell the towels that had "same or confusingly similar blue color and imagery as Boise State university's blue turf."

Our bedroom has "same or confusingly similar blue color and imagery as Boise State University's blue turf." Uh-oh.

We mourn the loss of your self-proclaimed "World Famous" souvenir, and although we never purchased one, we feel that the $6.95 price tag speaks more to the satiated demand market rather than making any statement about quality or durability. That said, we still don't like you.

Your gross mishandling of your product has wasted the faith and goodwill of Boise State. Not only is your future in Blue Turf washcloths, Blue Turf dishrags, and Blue Turf kerchiefs gone forever, you have seriously hurt the chances for the rest of us to ply our trade in parasitical business practices. We had some good products in mind, too.

• New Testament Marty Tadman Translation (excerpt: "Thou shalt not misread double coverage lest thou shallt be intercepted thusly")
• Blue and orange shampoo and conditioner
• Edible Fiesta Bowl trophies
• Ryan Clady Superman pjs (with footies and without)
• Stained-glass Buster Bronco ikons
• Paul J. Schneider pronunciation guide

Now you have essentially ruined any chance of these products coming to fruition. You and your blue towels have seriously hampered business for BSU third-party merch, and to what end? Graphic-intensive, non-washable fabric swatches? Market share on blue towels? Entrepreneurism? All you had to do was ask permission from BSU, and this whole thing might have never happened.

Now Coach Pete's Bathroom Reader Vol. 2 will never see the light of day, and that will be on your conscience.

Sincerely,
OBNUG